The Merry Go Round Continues
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The Merry Go Round Continues
| Wed, 10-22-2008 - 3:20pm |
You would think somebody my age, (52 Yikes!) and my education,
| Wed, 10-22-2008 - 3:20pm |
You would think somebody my age, (52 Yikes!) and my education,
I think I have heard from you before, maybe on the Parents of Teens board? I think you know that you have already had enough, you just need to get the financial picture in order. Obviously, your DH has chosen your DD over you, so in effect, the marriage is already over except for the paperwork. Do you think your DD has a mental illness? Frankly, her behavior doesn't sound like typical teen behavior. I know that all kids will sometimes argue w/ their parents, or even say mean things, but physical abuse is pretty rare.
At this point, could you stay w/ your sister or mother? Since you have been married a long time, you are probably entitled to 50% of the marital assets, so a court might order your DH to sell the house after your DD graduates from high school and split the money. Then at least you would have some savings. Good luck in finding a job.
Georgia,
Here's a radical thought and it will take courage on your part to actually do it, but if she ever physically assaults you again, you need to call the cops. I'm serious. Would you allow a stranger to hit you in your own home? Heck no! This is domestic violence. It's unacceptable. Your daughter will keep abusing you and hurting you as long as she's allowed to do so. Her Father's indifference be darned. YOU need to protect yourself. And holding your daugther accountable for her actions and having her suffer consequences for them is necessary. You are a victim of domestic violence. Just because she's your daughter doesn't give her the right to hurt you.
Your daughter also needs help. I don't know if that's intervention, counseling, putting her in foster care, or getting her into a program. A conversation with the state child welfare office may be in your best interest. If she's allowed to keep abusing you it's only going to get worse. Will she break your arm next time? You can't let this keep escalating.
I also suspect your husband is so overwhelmed with his mother and his son that he's shut down when it comes to the daughter. He simply can't take on one more thing, i.e. your feelings in this process. So he's just not capable of being a good parent. I also don't know whether the two of you have ever had a good partnership or if its all gone downhill in the past year?
In the meantime, keep looking for ways to empower yourself. If you're job hunting you'll need to broaden your scope. Writing and editing are great skills. It doesn't limit you to working for a publication. LOTS of places need someone with your skills. I highly recommend a terrific book on job hunting and career changing, "What Color Is Your Parachute? by John Bolles. It's updated annually. It's thick - don't let that intimidate you - go to the chapter called "the flower exercise" and do it. You'll be very glad you did!
CL-Wisdomtooth2020