Almost have the papers signed!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Almost have the papers signed!
6
Fri, 10-24-2008 - 2:26pm

I have been trying to meet up w/ STBX for about a week for him to give me the signed divorce papers, which I presented to him on Sept. 1. So Wed. night he stops by on the way home from work to ask me a question about how to fill out the financial statement part. Then he says the next day he will go to have the agreement notarized and will bring them back and he wants to go out to dinner, so I say ok. Well, most of the dinner was spent of him telling me about his various health problems, which are kind of serious. He has to go in a few weeks to Cornell Med. Center (we live in MA) for some kind of tests & a surgical procedure. This is why I haven't really been bugging him about the papers, cause I know he has a lot on his mind and it's not like I have a new husband waiting for me anyway. So he gives me the papers in an envelope & I go to look at it and he says "Oh, don't start talking business now after we had a nice dinner." Well, in his mind. So I open it after he left and of course, he didn't sign all the papers! Even though he said he looked and signed everywhere there was a signature line. Well, no, he didn't sign the financial statement or the Joint Petition for Divorce, so now he will have to come back. Maybe it's one of those Freudian things, where he "accidentally" forgot so he could have an excuse to come back.

Of course, he didn't fully fill out the fin. statement either, as he omitted his motorcycle, didn't put down a value for his 401(k) and omitted the stocks he has, that I have never really known what he has. I don't even want to press him that hard as I just don't want to delay this and I'm not asking for part of that stuff anyway as he owned all the stocks prior to the marriage. So by the time I file the papers, we get a court date and go through the 120 day waiting period for the divorce to be final, it's probably another 6 months. Sigh! I do hate the thought that if, by some miracle, I ever meet someone I will have to say "well, technically I'm not divorced yet" but at least I'll have some idea when it will be final.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Fri, 10-24-2008 - 9:52pm

It does seem freudian on his part Music. Ugh. It's always something, huh? He probably likes you listening to his ailments and the dinners so he wants to have an "in" to come back again. Sorry it's not settled yet. Hang in there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 12:25pm
He's STUPID for not disclosing his retirement and anything else he's hiding.... by NOT disclosing it, he's leaving the door open for you to come back later and claim your half.... which you could legally do if you wanted to... because he hasn't disclosed it.... so, in essence, he's lying :-)

Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 1:29pm
I know, so I will tell him that he has to fill in those places on the form. It's not like he can hide stuff that I already know about either--obviously I know he has a 401(k), since he has a deduction from his paycheck. It's just annoying that now I have to call him and ask him when he can come back and sign the other papers. It's nice when I don't have to think about him. I am dreading going to court, not because it's anything difficult--the hearing will take 10 minutes--but because I am a lawyer in that court frequently and it's just embarrassing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 3:47pm

I hear ya!.... I think my EX does crap just so that he can ask me to clarify or explain something (like how much support he owes).... surely to GOODNESS it's not rocket science and he can figure it out.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 4:07pm
Thanks. I don't know what happens where you are, like if they have appts., but here, everyone gets told to come to court at 8:30 so you get to hear everybody's personal business. I don't care about the general public, it's more that these people I have to see all the time, like the judge, clerk, court officers, will know that I'm getting divorced. I suppose it would be worse if it was messy or contested. In the same court that I'm going to, the singer Bobby Brown (Whitney Houston's ex) is always going and being sent to jail for not paying his child support and the TV cameras are there. At least I won't be on TV.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 10-28-2008 - 4:42pm

Yes, that's how it is here.... you either show up first thing in the morning, or first thing after lunch... you hear everything that goes on before your case is heard.


Even though I wanted the divorce, I still didn't necessarily want everyone to know my personal business.... kinda sucks... but hey, it's life, and I'm sure that you'll feel better on the flip side of it all.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~