Testing the Water

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2008
Testing the Water
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 8:12pm

Just an update. I went to see the therapist today. The upshot of our conversation is that I'm going to test the water one day this week--maybe as early as tomorrow night--by telling my H that I'm not happy with the way things are. I am not going to go into the divorce topic, just see how he responds. I know it's a good idea to consult an attorney before actually saying the "D word," and I'm not ready to do that yet. It seems like it would be more of a shock to him if he finds out I need for us to split up AND surprise! I've talked to an attorney already. I know consulting an attorney first is the wisest approach, but as I have no clue how my H. will respond, this will be my way of getting that clue.

He's been very solictious lately, probably as a response to my being withdrawn. This makes me wonder how hard this is actually going to be for him. He wouldn't be worried about me being withdrawn if he didn't feel some kind of emotional investment in the marriage. That doesn't mean if he wants to make the marriage work I can stick it out; it does mean that little bleeding-heart me would have a harder time saying I need out.

Part of me feels relieved after my appointment this afternoon--at last there's some kind of end in sight, and I won't have to feel stuck in quicksand for the rest of my life, and part of me feels like throwing up--probably the stomach part (very small joke).

Thanks to everyone for responding to my posts. I'm sure there will be others in the future, as I have a lot ahead of me.

Julie