No wonder you are confused about what to do--you are trying to juggle 3 men. First of all, I do think you need to get rid of the 2 who aren't your husband--the 1st guy is married & not leaving his wife and I really don't think that you can be "best friends" w/ a married man w/o his wife's knowledge. His wife might find out and make the decision for him anyway, plus it's just complicating your life. The 2nd one you already said you aren't interested in anyway, so I don't get what is the big deal w/ telling him that you have to decide whether to make things work w/ your DH. You really don't owe him anything. Then maybe things will be a little clearer after you only have 1 guy to deal with.
Since you already said that you don't love your DH & you don't have any respect for him, are you going to be able to have a happy marriage? Will you be willing to work at things to get back together or, as you said, are you just staying w/ him cause it's easier than being alone. You said you already got a job & an apt, so you will be able to make it on your own if you have to, plus he will have to pay c.s. If he was willing to let you manage the money, would you take him back, since it seems that's where his major problem was?
Honestly, I think you need to continue w/ your therapy and keep going until you can figure out that you can be alone and not dependent emotionally or financially on any man, otherwise, you will just keep getting into more & more trouble. Count up the number of years you have been married to now, which seems that it probably can't be more than 2-3 yrs since you have a toddler, and you already listed 3 men that you have been with. You need to do more work on yourself to figure out what you want to do. Since you have the appt. w/ the lawyer, you could keep it, but it doesn't mean you have to file. You can just get information.
No wonder you are confused about what to do--you are trying to juggle 3 men. First of all, I do think you need to get rid of the 2 who aren't your husband--the 1st guy is married & not leaving his wife and I really don't think that you can be "best friends" w/ a married man w/o his wife's knowledge. His wife might find out and make the decision for him anyway, plus it's just complicating your life. The 2nd one you already said you aren't interested in anyway, so I don't get what is the big deal w/ telling him that you have to decide whether to make things work w/ your DH. You really don't owe him anything. Then maybe things will be a little clearer after you only have 1 guy to deal with.
Since you already said that you don't love your DH & you don't have any respect for him, are you going to be able to have a happy marriage? Will you be willing to work at things to get back together or, as you said, are you just staying w/ him cause it's easier than being alone. You said you already got a job & an apt, so you will be able to make it on your own if you have to, plus he will have to pay c.s. If he was willing to let you manage the money, would you take him back, since it seems that's where his major problem was?
Honestly, I think you need to continue w/ your therapy and keep going until you can figure out that you can be alone and not dependent emotionally or financially on any man, otherwise, you will just keep getting into more & more trouble. Count up the number of years you have been married to now, which seems that it probably can't be more than 2-3 yrs since you have a toddler, and you already listed 3 men that you have been with. You need to do more work on yourself to figure out what you want to do. Since you have the appt. w/ the lawyer, you could keep it, but it doesn't mean you have to file. You can just get information.