Update on Mr. Religion & answers to ?'s

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Update on Mr. Religion & answers to ?'s
2
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 9:51pm
Thank you so much ladies, I mean it! Yesterday I had a horrible day thinking things over and wondering what in the world I was going to do. First, just to add to some of your comments. Yes, we had sex in the beginning, but we agreed that we wanted to try to do this the right way and hadn't had sex in most of the year we were together. That was never an issue after we decided to stop, things never changed between us...actually to be honest, that's when we got closer. He came to my house everyday, and was always with me. I do know all his friends, but they just didn't know we were together. His mother knows of me, but not that we were together. That night of the incident about the babysitter, he came straight to me, and NO, I did not have sex with him. He has taken me many places in public, but we just don't admit we are together. But anyway, last night I gave it a lot of thought and after reading what you ladies wrote today, it only confirmed, that I should definitely move on. I deserve so much better, even though I am hurt right now. But my choice in religion has always been my own, and I will continue it. Oh, and about being legally married..it was only a money issue. I had started the proceedings a while back and it will be final next month. I do love him still, it's hard for me, because I hadn't been in a relationship for many years before that so for me to have fallen in love again was hard to begin with, but I know how to deal. We did speak today..my car has been broken down, and I was walking home from work today (he knew I planned it to get excercise) and he passed by and offered me a ride. YES, I took it - I know, I probably shouldn't, but he just told me that he's hurting and that he doesn't want it to be over, but if he loved me he wouldn't allow me to comtinue in a relationship where I was hiding (he knew how much it bothered me). I agreed and gave him back all his things and that was it. We hugged and I said goodbye, and even though he stood there holding my hand, I backed away and went in with out turning around. On my short walk I thought about a lot, and this is for the better, I know it...BUT please, stick by me, when I'm down and out - I know today is just a good day, but I know soon I might need a good hug!! Thanks!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 11:51am
That is so great - I am sure that reason you feel so good about it right now is that you took control of the situation and decided what you want. Since you can see that in this case there is no future of actually getting merried/getting over the religion issue, then this is for the best. I have tried to do the same with my SO but at the end of the day, there is the fact that we can and do want to marry one day. We just have things to get past. If it becomes clear that we can not, moving on is always best.

Congrats on having such courage. It sounds like the two of you are really just good friends. Maybe you can still be friends, especially once you meet someone new. For right now distance is good for your heart though. I am sure you will be friends again though. ((((HUG))))

Look at this as an opportunity to welcome more love - new love - not losing it. Because like I said, you will always have that love - just like you love you ex. There is nothing wrong with loving someone, even if you are not meant to be together!

Stay strong!

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 12:45pm

((((HUG))))


Congrats on your strength and sticking to your convictions of what you believe you deserve in life and in love.