just starting dating after three years

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
just starting dating after three years
6
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 1:48pm
i just started dating this great guy after to being single for three years but i think i'm moving too fast. i have a three year old. and even though i've only been seeing this guy for three month i want to get a place with him. I live with my dad so he can't move in here and he lives in a one bedroom apt. so his place is out. he's 32 and i'm 22. and i'm so ready to get out of my dad house but i'm worried that might be why i want to live with him. he is so great with my son who's father isn't around. does it sound like this is going to fast he does have kids of his own. need advice.


Edited 7/8/2004 7:15 pm ET ET by dontknow2004
Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 3:32pm

Welcome to the board!


I am glad you felt comfortable asking for some encouragement/advice here. There are certainly MANY women here who have been in your shoes.


You said "but i think i'm moving too fast"...I think that it is very important to note that if you think you are moving too fast, chances are that

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 3:46pm
"Be very careful about wanting to change your current situation so badly that you jump at the first different one that comes along."

thanks that's exactly what i think i might be doing. my feelings are telling me one thing and my head is telling me another.

my dad is great with my son and while i love that they have a great relationship i feel like less of a mother because i can't support my son on my own. but if i move in with my boyfriend i guess i'm still not supporting him on my own.

i also do like living here cause if a want to go out at night and my dad is home i can after my son is in bed. but then i feel like i'm using him and i'm not trying to.

life should come with a manual.

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 3:58pm

Life should come with a manual...YOU AREN'T KIDDING!!!


You know, it really does sound like you have it made. Don't fool yourself into believing that

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 4:29pm

Hi there, and welcome to our board!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2004
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 8:34am
You need to slow things down. I don't believe in living together and especially when there is a child involved. But at any rate, you are moving way too fast in my opinion, and if you inner voice tells you that then you need to listen to it.

Do what it takes to be more happy at your dad's house. Try to focus on the positives of this arrangement, like having a grandpa in your child's life and a safe, economical place to stay.

Also, what are you doing to make a better economical future for you and your 3 year old? Are you working on school or a career? That should be more of a priority than a boyfriend in my opinion.

Good luck and hugs.

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 07-09-2004 - 1:00pm

Just wanted to say welcome!