He doesnt want more kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
He doesnt want more kids.
4
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 9:36am
I have been with my boyfriend alittle over a year. He has two children to a previous marriage. I have a little boy. I have alway wanted a little girl and possibly a big family. He had a vasectomy. A couple month ago we talked about htis and he told me he would get it reversed. The other night he tol dme he has been doing a lot of thinking, and he doesnt want anymore children. He talkd about getting married but I dont know if i can because all i have ever wanted was a big family. He is everything to me and everything that I would want out of a relationship besides the kids thing, any advice
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 10:05am
Then you have to make some decisions...is the point to have a large family (which you can do on your own without a man, right?) or is the point to be in a loving, commited relationship? Can you give up your dream to have a little girl? Even if he were to agree to have a fourth child, you could end up with another boy, correct? Many families have to compromise on the gender thing unless they're interested in having eight boys...even then, there's no guarantee that number eight will be the girl.

I don't know what you consider a large family, but putting three kids through college seems like a daunting task to me.

This is a tough decision to make, good luck on it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 12:20pm

I think that you have to respect and accept that he has thoughtfully considered it, but knows he doesn't want more kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 12:25pm

Another thought for you about his vasectomy.....even if he really wanted more kids and got the reversal, there's a chance it wouldn't work.

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 12:42pm

Hi and welcome!