So I met a guy...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
So I met a guy...
1
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 2:07pm
He's super sweet. We hung out all night on Sat and I met a lot of his friends and some of his family. I told him that I was not looking for a fling, that it was not what I wanted. He did kiss me that night (ok, I admit, a few times) and it felt so easy and comfortable. He seems to have his stuff together, a good job, saving money, gets along with his parents. He's younger than me (2.5 yrs- I'm 27), but that doesn't bother me.

The thing is, I usually rush into things and then it doesn't work out. I admit that, and I have had a few flings in the years I've been *active* and I want to avoid that. My relationship with my ds' dad is the longest I've been in (5 yrs) and I am ready for a relationship, not a fling. How do I go about making that happen? I have told him I am not looking for a fling and I don't see anything else I can do to ensure it doesn't become one. I know I will NOT be jumping into bed with him. So what else to do?

I also don't want him to run because of ds. The last two guys I've been with said that ds wasn't a problem, but after a short while, they said that it was and left. They couldn't just be honest in the beginning that it was a problem, but admitted later that it had always been one. That I don't get? The one guy I dated lived in another city and so we talked on the phone for over 6 months and then he flew down to visit with me again. We did sleep together on that trip and the night before he left he said that he wasn't into a relationship. I was devastated. Mainly because he said that he knew that he didn't want that commitment BEFORE flying down, but wanted to see if our week together would change his mind.

So what's a good gameplan to try so that the fling thing is weeded out?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
In reply to: alison
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 2:23pm

Hi Alison,


The only way to keep a new relationship from turning into a fling is to be strong, stick to your guns, and not settle for one iota less than you want.