Should I keep seeing him?
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Should I keep seeing him?
| Mon, 07-12-2004 - 3:19pm |
Hello Ladies, I have been involved w/a nice man(so far), for @6months now. We are both separated and going thru divorces. His has been going on for 2 1/2 yrs. now. Mine about 8 months. I realized that we are both in rebound mode, but we have alot in common when it comes to our kids and stbx spouses. I almost think we should have just stayed friends but I was incredibly attracted to him, and after 5 weeks of dating became intimate w/him. Anyway, he tells me weekly about how his stbx "appears" at the kids lessons, or when he's having breakfast out w/them, that sort of thing. Also that she goes to the daycare and other places the kids are at and tells the people there all about the details of the divorce, and custody issues(he has sole). I am going thru my own personal issues w/my stbx and sometimes feel overwhelmed w/my friends stories of his woes. I also don't like the on again off again aspect of his stbx "appearing" at places, to either "abuse" him or "give him advice".....it's starting to get fishy to me. Sometimes feel like I'm the mistress, but we do go out every weekend and once during the week usually. I haven't introduced him to my kids yet, and don't know if I want to at this point--
any thoughts?
any thoughts?

Also why has his divorce taken so long?
Divorce does solve one big problem but it creates so many more. And you have to allow time to stabilize your life and grow/heal. So does he.
The fact that his life is so upside down is going to impede your progress. You don't need that chaos for now. I would not introduce him to my kids if I was you.
I guess you should try to see him less and focus on yourself. Having a lot in common with kids and stbx spouses is not enough for longterm in my opinion. I predict this is a phase and will pass.
His 2.5 year divorce saga:
As far as him telling me all this, I don't know? Maybe to dispell any actions on her part that might make him look bad? I can only guess, but he has been telling me about the situation since we met(vise versa w/me and my sitch.) He tells me she's called his boss, tried to get him fired, called his friends, etc. etc.
My saga, just starting, re child custody and possessions.
I guess it helps having him around when I need to talk to someone "who's been there" plus I get the man's point of view which is helpful.
I just don't want to be used.
The two of you are leaning on each other for emotional support.