Pull Yourself Into a Great Relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Pull Yourself Into a Great Relationship
1
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 8:42am
Pull Yourself Into a Great Relationship
By Rinatta Paries

There are times in our lives when we feel our goals and desires pulling us forward. At other times, we feel as though we are pushing to reach our goals.

Many singles and people in relationships are pushing for a good relationship. While some do attract and create good relationships this way, the majority continue struggling, getting disappointed and often giving up.

However, those who surrender the struggle and allow themselves to be pulled will attract mates more quickly and easily. When you are pulled forward by a goal, it is more likely that you will achieve it. This is when serendipity happens, doors open and events seem to carry you toward your desire.

How do you allow your desire for a healthy relationship and a wonderful mate pull you forward? Follow the three steps below and learn how to be pulled towards a wonderful relationship.

1. Resolve the internal conflict of interest. Say to yourself, out loud, "I want to be in a wonderful relationship," or something similar about your goal. As you say this to yourself, notice how you feel. Pay attention to any words or phrases that immediately come to mind. You might hear yourself saying, "There are no potential partners out there"; "I will get hurt"; "I am afraid"; or "No one will love me." You may also feel a tightening in your gut or some fear.

Write down the negative comments and emotions, then find resourceful ways to disprove them. Understand that you cannot attract a loving partner if you think such a partner does not exist. Dig into your emotions about getting what you want and look at what is behind them. What makes you afraid, sad, etc.? Get to a point where you can say what you want, out loud, and all you feel is joy and excitement about its possibilities.

2. Make sure the kind of partner and relationship you are reaching for fits who you are. What kind of relationship do you want? What's most important to you? What kind of a partner will fit you?

You need to be clear on the character traits you are seeking so that you can recognize the person when you see him or her. Otherwise you will be choosing partners by chemistry or need, which seldom if ever works out.

3. It is likely you will get the love you want. Can you believe it is likely you will have the love you want? If you can't, then you probably won't find that love. We don't usually try to achieve things we think are unlikely. If you believe it's impossible, you will not take the necessary steps to make it possible.

This is a major shift from resignation or searching to having the faith and the patience to do and learn the necessary things to attract love. Set your mind to having your relationship goals pull you forward, and you are certain to realize your dream relationship.

Master Certified Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries coaches singles to attract and build loving, fulfilling, long-term relationships.

Maggie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 9:14am

I thought this was a great article and food for thought.