Finding the time to date...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Finding the time to date...
5
Sun, 07-25-2004 - 10:16am

I posted a profile on a dating site a while back...when I took my pic off, it just kind of sat idle for a few months. Recently I have put my pic back up just to see what would happen and

~okee

(formerly oneandonlyother)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Sun, 07-25-2004 - 12:38pm

Hi okeefester,


About making time to date:

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Sun, 07-25-2004 - 12:55pm

Thanks for the reply...unfortunatly I lost the luxury of the every other weekend arrangement with my ex after he made some choices in his life that forced me to make the decision that he should not be in her life.


It was definetly easier to do things when I had that, but my daughter is more important to me than that. So...yes I do have the support of my family, my mother actually lives in the apartment below mine which can be very convenient, but I hate to take advantage of that all that often. I really stretch my child care

~okee

(formerly oneandonlyother)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 07-25-2004 - 5:00pm
Good to see you here.

First of all, I don't think it is a problem to be a single mom and busy. Most guys are busier and have even less time.

I think that if you like him you will find the time!! Don't worry - focus on making sure he is a nice guy who wants a relationship (not just the sex) and he is right for you and makes you happy.

It is surprising at how you can cut corners when you need to be with someone. I have found that I can use time spent working out together or go out after my son is asleep (hire a babysitter) or even on a weeknight when his dad has him.

It is my opinion that it is more difficult to find a good person to date than it is to find the time to date.

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 12:23pm

Hi and welcome to the board!


I agree with the suggestions you've been given.

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 12:46pm

I just wonder if guys that don't have kids really understand how much time that takes away from me.


Well, I don't think they do. I am sure in their heads they know "well, she's a mom. She's not going to have much time" but you don't even know what that really means, practically speaking, until you get into the situation. (Kind of like, when I realized I was going to be a single parent I KNEW it was going to be hard...but OMG, who knew HOW HARD! LOL)


So, what you end up doing is finding out what kind of character they have when they realize just what being a parent means. If they don't cut and run, you might have something worth looking into further. I always felt that having a child was in some ways an advantage in dating. Not ideal for sure, and I didn't date as much as someone who didn't have a child (it's that time and priorities issue!) But it sure did help sort out the losers from quality characters. And quickly!


I think the right answer for you is that you'll have more time when it becomes more of a priority. And until it is, why force it? We always manage to make time for things that we really want. I am sure you'll be there when you're good and ready.

Becky

Becky