What's the point of dating??? LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
What's the point of dating??? LOL
5
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 7:29pm
Sigh...

So I met a guy a few weeks ago, all was good. We went out on a date that went from dinner to dancing at the club. Had a good time. I had told him straight out that I was interested in a relationship with someone, not looking for a fling. He agreed. We did kiss that night. Then he left for a week camping and was to be back last sun and said he would call when he got back into town. No call yet... I'm taking it that he's changed his mind about me, that he doesn't want anything serious.

I met another guy last week. We had a really fun night, hanging out with friends and talking. He told me to call him the next day, so I did and I mentioned what some friends and I were doing, he told me to call me later when we were going out- he might join us. Well, when I called him later, he didn't answer his cell. Next morning I called him and he said he had gone out with friends, but to call him that night... again I called later and no answer. I tried again the next day and he said again to call him that night, and again didn't answer- so I gave up. He hasn't called me.

I just don't want to be the one constantly phoning, you know? Makes me feel like a stalker LOL. I just don't want to play games, so what's the point of even trying to date??? GRRR

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 7:42pm
How frustrating!

While I have no problems, at all, doing some pursuing, I would NEVER call a guy as much as the second guy was requesting that you call him! I will call once, but then after that, I respond with "I prefer that you call me" to their "give me a call" suggestions. Also, the second guy, kind of sounded to me like you were his back up plan - he didn't want to commit to plans in case something better came along! They got to chase a little - otherwise I don't think they are interested.

There are good guys out there! I swear! But sometimes you gotta kiss alot of frogs!!!!

Have faith . . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 8:34pm
I sympathize with your frustration. Not fun for sure.

I think you have to wait until you meet the right person. The right person will be interested in you and will pursue you and want to be with you more and know more about you. Until this happens you have to be more conservative with your heart and feelings. In other words, you cannot get your hopes up about someone until they pass the test of time.

I don't think there is anything wrong with you - just that these guys are not interested in a relationship right now. Calling them will not change that - it only makes you appear desperate.

Think of yourself as a high-priced house in a great neighborhood. Not every buyer is going to be able to afford you!! So you have to go through a lot of prospective buyers and wait for the right offer.

Are you meeting these guys online? Or through your social network?

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 3:50am
Hi sweetie!

I know how frustrating that can be! Believe me! I've been dating now for 4yrs and I still meet loads of toads. I can't stand it anymore. Tired of hearing the same thing over and over again; don't want anything serious, or they are serious to quickly. No in-betweens. A few weeks ago a guy kept asking me to call him. I did twice and then I told him to forget it. He obviously wasn't interested enough to spend a dime on me, so never mind. I don't mind calling once in awhile, but it has to be balanced. Otherwise, forget it. If they want to see or hear from me, then they know where to find me.

Head up high and look at the bright side. At least you don't have to date European men, they are truely the toughest of the bunch. sigh.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2002
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 10:12am

Im sorry about your dating frustrations- For me-- I am old fashioned that way- In the beginning I NEVER call. That way I have no anxiety and no expectations - and if the guy doesnt call in 3 days after a night like you mentioned - well back to the hunt! That way no emotions invested and no heartaches. Mom taught me - never call or chase a boy- let them chase you and I realize this is a old way of thinking but I found that it weeds out the losers .


Read "men who love bitches" - harsh title I know but man it really works !!

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 2:58pm

Dating is supposed to be somewhat fun.