So...what would you do???

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
So...what would you do???
6
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 5:11pm

I have been seeing a guy I met online for a few months now.

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 7:24pm
I would take the innocent until proven guilty approach. I wouldn't cut my losses just yet, atleast not without an explanation. You must like him if you agreed to be exclusive with him right?

Do you feel you can be honest with him? I would. I would simply say, my friend, insert name, mentioned to me that she's seen your profile on a couple of other dating sites.Are you planning to take those profiles down now that we’re exclusively dating?

You don’t have to mention that you’ve been watching his activity for the last few weeks. (And no that doesn’t make you a stalker! LOL)

Give him the benefit of the doubt, a chance to explain. Then if you don’t like his explanation, make your decision.

Btw, I met my SO on yahoo personals almost 2 years ago. And I still get weekly emails from them on my “latest matches” even though I am not paying as an active member. I sometimes click out of curiosity to see who’s on there and it is somewhat amusing to see some guys that I dated (that were total players) that are still on there from over 2 years ago!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 10:24pm
I think you should clarify the situation in a positive manner - state just what you did here and define "exclusivity" on mutual terms. I would exclude the part about stalking.

;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 11:24am
I know what I would. I would confront him. If you both decided to be "exclusive" and he is still on the dating website, then he's not being "exclusive". You don't want to be left wondering what he is doing with his spare time when you are both not together, not a good feeling.

Hugs, Marilyn

CL-Entrepreneurial Women

Business Impressions, LLC

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 11:32am

I wouldn't be too confrontational.

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 12:39pm

I agree that you should not be confrontational on this.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 1:43pm
This is why I always include a discussion of taking profiles down when talking about exclusivity with a new guy...to avoid this situation!

Assuming you did NOT talk about ads, then I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. I'd just say something like, "hey I realized that I neglected to talk with you about taking our profiles down when we agreed to be exclusive the other night. That's something that's an important part of exclusivity for me. How do you feel about that?" If he agrees to take his ads down but doesn't (or if you did talk about taking ads down), THEN I'd dump him.

Sheri