EATING MY ALLIGATORS!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
EATING MY ALLIGATORS!!!!
4
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 1:30am
I discovered something about myself today.


I am going to enjoy EATING my ALLIGATORS.


All of the past feelings of hurt and abandonment that I have felt, the self loathing, rejection, FEAR:


I AM GOING TO EAT.


I am going to chew the ALLIGATORS carefully and with purpose...so thoroughly, that while they may attempt to rear their ugly heads again...which of course they always do...I will be able to quickly chew again...and spit them out!!!

***********I AM IN CHARGE OF ME!!!!!!!*******

No one else but me.... I am the one person who can make myself well.

I will find my ALLIGATORS and EAT them...although they are very difficult to digest...and I will have to bear a lot of pain and anguish to pass them through the digestive track.

I may even write a book about the experience to further aide in my digestion, since I know how much the ALLIGATORS.... FEAR AND LOATH the written word.

The ALLIGATORS also like the darkness...so I will be exposing them to the light of the iVillage boards...and the horror of will make the ALLIGATORS smaller so it will help aide even more in my digestion...possibly acting as my ANTACID tablets??? LOL

I'm positive in the coming months ahead as I EAT my ALLIGATORS, I will be able to find with the aide of the Antacid tablets both here...and in meetings, ... that my ALLIGATORS will become easier to digest.



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 11:26am

It sounds like you came up with a great analogy to help yourself heal!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 12:37pm
Hi Maggie...

Yes, anyway to help release the *ALLIGATORS* and regain control.

I am definitely thinking about writing a book about this....and also possibly one with my children as well. There's not exactly a plethora of good divorce books for children...and more importantly...one written by children experiencing this as well.

Not that i think I can become published...just so that I can exorcise...and move on...and to show my children how to do the same.

Have a joyous day,

Jennifer

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 10:28pm

And just why can't you be published?


First off, I loved your analogy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 11:18pm
Thanks T...although I must confess...I borrowed the "ALLIGATOR" analogy from

CL-Immortalchild. Although, I seem to recall that she talked about being in the pit with them...and I'm discussing EATING them!!!

You are absolutely correct....why couldn't I get published????

Maybe this is why I was in yet another car accident and cannot return to work yet!!!!

My HP's way of showing me that I'm meant to do something else????

I know that my children would love to help me...after, it's more quality time spent with MOM!!!! and for MOM to be with THEM!

Have a wonderful weekend,

Jennifer