My first experience while I wait for my

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
My first experience while I wait for my
7
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 8:11pm
Divorce to become final, and it sucks already. I am so not happy right now.

There is this man I met through work. We don't work in the same office, but we do have meetings together. Anyway, a simple work-related email escalated into this emailing flirtation thing which was going great. He was full of compliments and was making it obvious he was interested.

Then last night he sent me an email that said "We have been talking back and forth and getting to know each other pretty well, friends I would say, and have alot in common. I don't know where this was going or even if it was, but I have to be completely honest with you and then take it from there. I am involved with someone and have been for two years now. I dont know if that just screwed things up or we will just continue on as friends."

So I replied " I wasn't sure where we were going with the emailing either, especially with all your compliments. Obviously we both were thinking the emails would lead to something more or we wouldn't be having this conversation. I am wise enough to know that two years is a long time to just be dating. I am also wise enough to know your girlfriend wouldn't tolerate our "friendly" emails. Out of respect for myself, your girlfriend, and you, we should keep our relationship on a professional level. I appreciate your honesty and I am sure you understand my decision."

WHY did he come on so strong only to say he was involved? I really thought he was genuine. Is this guy just a dog who likes to play games OR is he questioning his current relationship? UGH!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 9:01pm
Either way he is a dog. Your response was awesome - stick to it. He is not the way to go. No guy that thinks ahead to another relationship before his last one is dead and buried is not high on the integrity scale. He has issues you don't need to read.

(((((HUG))))) Better things are out there :) Hang in there OK?

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 9:13pm
Try to look at the 2 bright sides to this story:

1) You are attractive and fun by email

2) He was honest before it got too far

and 3) a bonus - you handled this very well.

Welcome to the world of dating - it doesn't get easier - whether you are single, married, with kids or without. But oil up your feathers and the water will bead off just fine.

We are glad you are here with us. Good luck with your divorce - this is probably the toughest time in your life. But it will get better, I promise!!

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 10:50am

Hi there and welcome to the board! I am sorry to hear about your divorce. I am sure your emotions are in a huge mix-up right now.


Try to look at the bright side of this.


You had FUN! You felt attractive, energized and desirable. Creep or not, this guy wouldn't have given you the time of day if HE didn't find you attractive and desirable. Most of our flirtations don't pan out to anything more than that but take the ego boost from it and let it roll if you can.


As for this guy. No idea why he played you like that. Like Laura said, either way he's a dog. But you sure did put him in his place quickly. GOOD FOR YOU for not continuing the game with him. It's not worth your time. You keep your dignity, take the compliments and go the other way.


And don't let this "First flirtation" discourage you from getting back out there again, when you're ready.

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 11:05am
He's a dog. Sorry, but he is. I have a male friend, who is married, and he does the same thing. We exchange emails. I like the emails when he talks about baseball or politics. Every now and then, he comes on strong with compliments. Then, I question his motives for the friendship. I know his wife would even resent the baseball emails, let alone the flirty emails. I stop the emails when he gets flirty and I would never, ever, ever meet him for drinks or lunch.

Just forget the guy in the office. At least, he was honest enough to tell you about the girlfriend.....but there's no point in continuing to email him for anything other than work stuff. He's using you in someway.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 12:03pm

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 12:06pm

Hang in there!

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 12:44pm

Welcome to the board!


I don't think it really matters his motivation, what he did is pretty lame.