Wasn't prepared for the silence :(
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Wasn't prepared for the silence :(
| Wed, 08-11-2004 - 11:28am |
I am so used to over a year of talking to Jack at least once a day if not more that this silence part is REALLLLLLY tough. Having a hard time with that. I wish I had more girlfriends. How do you guys meet GIRLS? I feel so lonely here - especially now being out of work and at home all the time. All my clients are married men anyways and I have very little real contact with them - not enough to get in any casual conversation during the day. Everyone seems so interested in themselves and not in making new friends. I do reach out and call people but it is tough. I woudl normally call my friend Carrie but with her in the hospital and also not feeling too great it is hard to call and talk about MY problems. (she is doing well BTW but will need a bone marrow transplant sometime soon)
I only have one girlfriend that I talk to regularly and she is married with a small baby and lives and hour and half away :(
So I need HUGS (wahhhh) and some ideas on how to meet people - women - that WANT to be friends. I have tried to find local single mom groups but with no luck - can't seem to find any :(
Laura

I don't know enough of your situation, how much childfree time you have to yourself. But what hobbies do you have? DO you like to read? Join a book club or start one yourself. I joined a knitting club (more hip than it sounds) and there are a lot of women in the group because they're seeking out the camraderie of women. I read craigslist all the time and there are plenty of ads for women seeking other women to hang out with (and yeah, I know it's San Francisco, but they do read like women seeking about buddies to shop and see movies with). Post an ad somewhere specifying that you are seeking an activity partner for bike riding, a gym partner, whatever you want. Online personals are not just for finding a boyfriend these days, but for finding friends, too.
Kim
Hi Laura
The only thing I can tell you is what I did.
I don't know if you saw my recent post, but I don't have very many friends either. When I have my kids, I'm never lonely. But when I don't, I have to be careful to not get lonely and depressed. I asked my counselor for the names of local singles groups. Try this website: parentswithoutpartners.org. They are a national organization with all kinds of local chapters. You put in your area code and it will tell you if there are any chapters near you. I didn't have any near me. There is also Phoenix Group, but all I have for them is an address of P.O. Box 1979, Chicago, IL, 60690. These are usually through the Catholic church, though. We have several in my area, I just wanted to do some not affiliated with religion. Today I got real lucky. Instead of just searching for single parent groups on the web, I narrowed my search to "single parents in Illinois" (that's where I live). Put in your state and see what you come up with. I came up with a few possibilities. One I clicked on is called Single Parents, Inc. The meetings are held 20 minutes away from my house. But I was most impresed with their social calendar. They have a bunch of activities to go to with and without your kids. Other than searching specifically in my state, I was getting only organizations that you can join that are just computer-based like support groups through e-mail and chat groups. I wasn't interested in that. I like this board just fine, and I don't want to go to another one. I actually wanted to meet people. I always thought church and school would be a good place to meet other single moms. So far, all the friends my kids have come from two-parent homes. And my church is so small that I'm the only single mom there. You would think it would be easy to find other single moms because we do make up half the household, but it's not. I hope I helped. Good luck to you and let us know if you found anything. HUGS.
Donna
I do have to put in a plug for parents without partners.
At any rate, I am hoping that things can look a little better for you when school starts - perhaps you can get a little more involved to meet new people?
The best way to meet people, from what I have found, is at the gym in exercise classes, yoga, dance, etc. To share a common activitiy. You can also sign up for a fitness walk or run. Chances are there are some nice activities each weekend in your town and maybe you and your daughter can enjoy those?
Other ideas include the grocery store, hair dressers, etc. I think you filled a lot of your time with Jack and now that is gone you just have to be patient and the time will be filled again.
Hugs to you.
I know that many woman that are married just stay at home with the kids and never get any help from their DH's BUT I am not made that way. Yes, I wanted to be a mother but not like this.
So you see, school doesn't help because she isn't in it yet. I have never been able to bond with any of the daycare mom's. I would love to take a dance class or something and I have a gym membership (provided to me from the first job I had - lifetime member) BUT that is quite a ways from my house and out of my way and most of the members are older because of the community it is in. All the young people I know join Powerhouse or Ballys. If I take a class not at a gym I don't have anything to do with my kid.
I hope this doesn't seem like a list of excuses. I just can't figure out how to get things in order. I am sitting on the overwelmed expressed and heading toward a cliff.
As far as rebound... I will put that in a new post LOL
If with this new info you have ideas I am ALL ears! Desperately need help!
Laura
I guess you will have to try to find some fun mommy and me classes - maybe at the library or something? where you can meet moms with kids your age. The stay at home moms can be fun - I did this a lot when my son was that age. It helped me have a social life with him and get out of the house. I would have gone bananas if I didn't do that.
If you work at home perhaps you can be a little flexible with your hours and have fun things during the day just to help you get out.
Is there a gym with a day care? That would also be a good option.
Will look for your rebound story.
Hang in there Laura. It always sucks at first. But west have given you some great ideas so far.
Did you read momoftwins (sp?) ideas on joining a singles group? Have you searched the Pontiac area for that? It's so heavily populated you'd think there would be something? Would you go if you found one?
Hug