advice on what to say to kids about cat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2002
advice on what to say to kids about cat.
11
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 8:49am

Can you lovely moms

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Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 11:04am

Oh God.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 11:43am

Could you go back, claim him and have him put to sleep?

Kim

Avatar for mom_x_three
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 12:00pm
It seems awfully cruel to me for the vet (or whomever) to keep the animal alive and in pain hoping someone will adopt it....it would be more humane to put the animal to sleep.

And I know "I" would feel better knowing the animal wasn't suffering...can you request they just put the kitty to sleep?

I would then tell the boys that the kitty died...I'm sorry, it's not easy for a child to lose a pet.

Sherry<with 3 kids, 2 beautiful granddaughters

Avatar for mandymi
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 12:52pm

Oh, how sad!!!


Here's a story, no real advice...


When I was a kid I begged and begged for a kitten (as in for about 3 years).




http://somedaysijustworkhere.blogspot.com/">

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 2:15pm
It's a tough emotional decision and I'm so sorry that this has happened. What a lousy break. When our kitty got really sick, I had my xh take her to the vet and put her down. We told the kids that while she was there, she had died. No guilt. I didn't have a tough time deciding between the cat or a family vacation. It's never easy to deal with death, but you can do a lot of things to help them out. We sat and talked about the things that we liked about Elvira and we drew pictures of her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 08-15-2004 - 4:55pm
What an ordeal, Mary Beth. I am sorry you had to go through this.

At any rate, I might be inclined to call the vet and see what is happening - does he really think someone would adopt the cat and pay that fee? Did you explain this is a family pet and you are a single mom and need to tell your kids something? I agree that $5-10K is way too much to pay for a cat unless you are on Rockefeller's budget. I would not do that either. Based on what you find out, I would tell them the truth. They have to learn that life is not easy and that you have to make decisions such as these.

I guess you have to try to use this as a teaching experience about life and death. I would be honest with the kids but explain it in their terms with as little drama/graphic details as possible. Kids adapt to situations such as these a lot better than you think and they will learn a big lesson just by watching you deal with it.

When my son was 2 our beloved dog was stricken with cancer. We found this out on Thanksgiving morning. Fortunately he lasted about 6 weeks so we had him for Xmas. But then he became very sick very fast and I knew I had to have him put down. Through all of this we told my son that the dog had cancer and would not be with us much longer. We would take care of him and enjoy him as best as we could. In the end, when it was time for Mickey to go to the vets for the last time, my son worked on him all day with his doctor's toys. It was heartbreaking for me to watch that. But my son was no worse for the wear. He watched us handle everything and we explained that Mickey went to heaven and we would see him again one day. We also explained that God is taking very good care of him and he is no longer in pain.

We did get another dog and this helped. But that has a story, too. That dog, although the same breed, was no replacement for Mickey. She was very high maintenance and shortly after my divorce I had to make a decision to find her a good home. Her grooming was expensive, she was wild and chewed everything, especially my son's toys, my eyeglasses and the grand finale that got her the boot was $400 worth of seatbelts on my new car. Nicholas understood my decision. And I found her a very good home.

I have always believed in honesty. Children have to learn about life and reality and see that tough decisions have to be made. I also think they have to trust you and they will do this when you are honest. Nicholas agreed with my decision and we have never looked back. Sometimes we still joke about her.

Good luck to you - I hope I have helped in some way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2002
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 9:31am

Update--


I talked to the boys last night and just told him that Frankie (kitty) was hit by

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:07am

Ohhh, this makes me so sad for you and your kids. I read the whole thread, so I've seen the update. I would have done exactly what you did. Let them know the kitty had passed on and then called the Vet's to check and be sure he was taken care of. I would have preferred that he be put to sleep as well.


Losing a pet is soooo heartbreaking. But then we always go out and want another one. We had to put my puppy (ok. old dog. 15 years old) down last year. We all, right down to my dad, sobbed off and on for days. And even thinking of her now makes me teary eyed. It's tough, for sure.

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:42am
That is so sad. It sounds like you handled everything very well. Big hugs for you and the kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:19pm
so so sad for everyone, you, the boys and the kitty. poor little guy. you know, I can't get another cat because of my son's allergies, but my daughter brought home this little mechanical kitty that purs and 'makes biscuits'. I swear I played with it for 30 minutes when she brought it, I loved it so much. Are you going to get another kitty straight away?

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