Can't pay bills so we can eat....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Can't pay bills so we can eat....
30
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 12:28pm
Anyone ever forgo bills so you can put food on the table? I never thought this would happen to me again. But it has. We would have 1200 dollars free if Shane hadn't made a mistake several months back. He pawned his father's gun and Rolex so he could pay for my engagement ring. Well, he went to get the stuff out last week and it ended up costing him 250 more than he expected and now we're broke. Totally broke. So here I am, pregnant, and worrying over money. I took Dylan to get a cavity filled today and it cost a fortune. We may get a refund from insurance on some of it. But not anytime soon. But bet on it that I'm gonna call can ask when I can expect it. Shane had no choice but to go get his items out of the pawn shop. It was due and he needed to go or lose them. So we are having to not pay his truck note this month (we will make up for it next month) and be late on a few things so we can get food. It's really sad. I hate being pregnant right now since I have this stuff to worry me. Shane never worries about it. He always says it will be okay. Maybe I need to just stop caring like he does and just float thru life like nothing matters. Unfortunately, I can't be like that. It is truly amazing how we can have such a large income and never have any money.

I need a hug,

Mel

<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wtCMCc4/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.Ticker

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:15pm
((((((HUGS))))))I'm so sorry about this situation. I have a friend who married someone makes good money and they, too, never seem to have enough. I've seen her monthly calendar...she knows the minimum payment to absolutely everything and when it's due. After twenty years, she still can't relax like her husband.
Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:25pm

((((Mel))))


He always says it will be okay. Maybe I need to just stop caring like he does and just float thru life like nothing matters.


You know, to a point, Shane is VERY right. It will be ok. You WON'T be homeless. You won't be hungry. You won't be without clothing. Life might be more uncomfortable for a while like this, but you will be fine. But I think there's a balance to an attitude like this. You can't float through as thought NOTHING matters. You just have to learn to roll with it, do what YOU can and then be content. I am sorry you're going through this, now of all times. The good news is, you CAN be caught up just fine and back on top of things soon. But remember to take care of yourself. High stress levels are a bad idea in pregnancy.


It is truly amazing how we can have such a large income and never have any money.


I hear you. But you know why it's a problem? Because you haven't really budgeted and STUCK TO a budget/financial plan of some kind. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Mel, make an appointment and get in with Shane to see a financial planner! Someone who can help get you both on the same page with your spending and get you on track. I really strongly feel that this would be beneficial. If nothing else, it'll eliminate the unknown "when are things going to fall apart again/are we going to be able to pay the bills this month" stress. You do NOT need that. And there's no reason for it. Financial planning is a giant sized reality check, and once you know what's really real with regards to your finances you don't have to live in fear of it anymore.

Becky

Becky

 

 

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:28pm

Forgot to say...Yes, I have had to skip bills to buy food. It happens. It sucks, but contrary to the way I felt then, it wasn't the end of the world. I am still alive and well and my finances are in decent shape if not exactly where I want them.


And to be honest, I want to get to a financial planner with Jas myself. I've been thinking about it, and your post reminded me!

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:30pm
I totally agree with Becky that you two need to see a financial planner and learn how to stay on a budget. I also think there are good books for you to read to learn how to spend less money on expendables and get a little put aside for the emergencies and unexpected things.

Of course we all have to juggle bills in times of a cash flow crises.

But look at the bright side - he paid cash for your engagement ring and was willing to pawn those items to do it. Too cool!!

Maybe now is the perfect time to get Shane thinking about saving more and spending less - especially with member number 4 coming to your family!!

Good luck and hugs to you!! I think you are right to worry - you have to make a change and do something if you want to get a handle on finances and save.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 1:32pm
I gotta agree with Bec, wholeheartedly, especially on the financial counseling.

And, I would add, make sure you call the bank for Shane's truck, let them know that you hit a snag, but that you will pay them "x" amount of what date.

Hugs. It's stressful to have money issues ANYTIME, knowing you are expecting a little one soon even doubles it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:22pm
To everyone who suggested the financial planner. I certainly think it would be great, but the thing is, I KNOW how to budget. Shane doesn't. I try to explain what we have coming out and he is not concerned at all. He wants something, he gets it. Period. He never calls me to verify what we have. He looks at the online banking, but as we all know, it doesn't always show the up-to-date balance because of what hasn't cleared. So there's usually a difference between that and my checkbook. My checkbook is the only accurate record. And I keep it pristene. I know when things are due, the amounts, what is automatically withdrawn, and what I need to send out. I keep a record of what paycheck I need to pay things from so we can manage until the next check. It's all written down and kept by the computer. Bills are sorted too. But I'm the one that does all of that. Shane isn't interested in that part and because I'm so good at it, he's left it up to me. I don't mind. I like having the responsibility, but I want him to realize that what's left over is not just for whatever. We need a cushion at the month's end for the things we have coming out at the first.

Rent is high, groceries are expensive because I cook every night (even though Hamburger Helper can be used once a week and I do that without feeling guilty). I would cook casseroles or spaghetti because they are cheap to make and go far, but he hates those things. So I'm stuck buying things that don't go as far. He insists on dry cleaning a lot of his clothes and we do have to do his slacks, but his shirts can be washed and hung and starched at home. SO I insist that until we get back on our feet, I will do that. Unfortunately, the pants still have to go. I also got into a financial slump as a single mommy and have some debt I'm paying off. Just two acocunts and one is almost paid. Next month, in fact. He has student loans, but we're managing those. His biggest weakness is EBay. He browses it daily. And golf stuff. But if we just pay the bills we need to pay on time, we shouldn't have a problem getting some of that each month if we just stop eating out on the weekends or going out. We have stopped going to clubs. It's too expensive and I'm pregnant now, so it's no use going. Too smokey. My friend, Rebekah also seems to reap the benefits of our spending because we pay for her night out. She doesn't make much money, so Shane insists we pay for her way. I don't mind if we do it once in a while, but it got to be every weekend, we were shelling out cash for one extra person. That's stopped for now. It's just too much.

I am going to make up a budget on a spreadsheet and we will have to start sticking to it. I did accounting for 2 university bookstores and handled their budgets. So if I can conquer that, I can surely get this straight.

Bring it on!

Mel

<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wtCMCc4/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.Ticker

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 2:30pm
Mel, I know you know how to budget. I know you've mentioned some of this before. My thinking is this. Shane obviously needs a reality check. Sometimes that can come from a wife, sometimes it needs to come from a professional. That's why the financial planner. It couldn't hurt, but it might improve S's way of seeing your financial situation.
Becky

Becky

 

 

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 3:31pm

Hi


Yes, I've been there and it is no fun.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 3:36pm

Hi Mel, On rare occasion under dire circumstances while single, I've had to pay a bill or two a little bit late in order to eat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 3:51pm

If you were like Shane you two would NEVER have enough money... It's a pain, but it's that way sometimes, one is good with money, one is bad with money.

Kim

Pages