Tried calling(wrong section,sry,not fun)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2004
Tried calling(wrong section,sry,not fun)
5
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 11:33pm
My gf's dad stayed with her last weekend and Sunday they traveled a short distance to go to a baptism. She sent me a txt message Sunday morning saying she'd call me when she got home. I haven't talked to her since Thursday night. I knew she wouldn't call over the weekend when her dad was there, but expected her to call Sunday night. I tried calling her at home and her cell just now, but got no answer, so I left a message on her answering machine and sent a txt message wanting to make sure she made it home ok. I'm somewhat concerend about whether she made it home, but also want to see what's up. I don't know why she wouldn't call me because its not like her, so it would almost worry me if she doesn't call me tomorrow after getting my messages. Just to make sure everything is ok, I wanna call her sister just to make sure all is well with her if I don't hear from her. That's not out of line, is it? Sure I want to find out if she is just not calling me, but I also need to make sure she is ok.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 12:51pm
Has she called yet? If not, I'd say you could call her sister tomorrow. Really she has had time to call you by now. It's not out of line to call her sister once and see if she's okay. Something might have happened to her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 4:07pm
I called her today, and she was like, "hey, yeah, I've been busy". I told her I wanted to still visit her in a couple of weeks like we had planned. She said "I didn't think we had planned anything different." I said I just wanted to make sure since I hadn't talked to her since Thursday. She seemed totally unphased by the fact the we hadn't talked and she didn't call to let me know that everything is ok. I plan on laying low and not talking too much about this until I go. I figure if I say something that rubs her wrong, is will be easier to handle if we're together than talking over the phone. Make sure I don't say something now, and bring it up again later so she can't say that I keep bringing it up.


Edited 8/17/2004 4:15 pm ET ET by jaysonw
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 5:16pm
I think that you just need to relax a little. You are probably the one who needs a little more communication and reassurance than she is. Being honest with her is ok, but don't go overboard. Plan to call and "check in" every couple of days, rather than every day. Make yourself busy so you're not agonizing over her not calling. If it didn't seem like a big deal to her not to talk to you for a few days, then maybe it wasn't. She was busy and didn't have time to dwell on it.

The main thing is, is she happy to talk to you when you do get a hold of her?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 6:22pm
Generally, yes, however, this time she was like...oh hey. She did seem a little preoccupied and was getting ready to head out of the door. Still seems like she may have been a little more enthused about hearing from me since its been nearly a week, but she may have had just too much on her mind, so I'm not gonna dwell on that. She said she'd call me back this evening...we'll see. If for some reason I don't hear from her, I'll give her a call this weekend. She's got orientation for law school for the rest of the week starting tomorrow. I'll just wait it out...be patient.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 9:36pm
I would suggest that you not call her anymore. This sounds like an extremely busy woman with alot on her plate and she has prioritized many of those things above your relationship.

If she calls you tonight, let her know that you understand how extremely busy she is, and that you won't be calling her for awhile so that she can have some space. And that she can call you when she's got some room to breathe.

If she values your relationship and wants it to continue, she will call you when she's ready to talk to you.

If she doesn't and you keep calling her, you will quickly become a nuisance and she will distance herself from you even more.

Nobody wants to be a nuisance...but sometimes the best of intentions can be perceived that way.

good luck to you!