I WANT A MARINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
I WANT A MARINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
14
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 8:00pm

Hi everyone new to this board. I just want some advice, I've been seperated now for a year and 5 months. I'm sick of being alone, even when I was married I was alone he slept on the couch and I in the bed. Anyway's I WANT TO SPOON!!!!!! I'm just lonely. my friends tell me to go on line, I'm like ya no thank you. I don't want to meet a freak or some pervert. I just want some one to be understanding that I do have three young girls, and they come first. Should I date some one with kids or with out? I alway's joke with my girl friends and say I want a marine who is 6' great build dark hair (when grown in lol), why a marine who know's. I guess it's all the romance books I'm reading about big strong men. Not that they have to be in the marine's, just thought I'd go in new direction. Anyway's I'm 33 and lonely and board. Any advice let me know.

Laura

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 9:52pm

Hi! welcome...I have some advice...don't get too hung up on stereotypes. Yes, there are alot of freaks and perverts on the internet, but not everyone is. I met my SO on yahoo.com and he is an awesome guy! Others here have also dated online and some even found their husbands that way!

Anyway...I suggest try everything once and see what happens. Put the romance novels away...if you expect your romance to follow that example you're in for a let down. Join a gym, start hanging out a home depot or the local bookstore. If you want to date a marine find a hangout near a local marine base. (I dated a marine in '91 while the gulf war was going on, I had the best time of my life with him. I have very fond memories.)

Get out there and get flirty, but be careful, and leave the kids out of it for a LONG LONG time. Should you date someone with kids? I can't say don't do it, because I did and it worked out! So I say don't necessarily look for that, but don't discount someone because they have kids either. Don't tell them your lonely and desperate and don't have sex too soon.

Oh and getting divorced before you actually start dating isn't a bad idea either.

Good luck! Look forward to hearing about your adventures!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 10:06pm

Hi. I have dated online and met my current bf that way (yahoo.com). There certainly are freaks on there, but there are nice people too. Nice people who want to find someone else to spoon with.

My preference is dating someone else with kids. Other parents already know what it means to be a parent, and to put your kids first. And you can get to know who that person is as a parent, not just as an adult. To me that is very important. But there is nothing wrong with non-parents either.

Welcome to the board :)




Edited 12/2/2004 10:09 pm ET ET by firstamendment

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 10:46pm

Orange clouds has great advice here. It would take you months of heart ache on your own to learn all of this. (Although I have never had luck online thus far.)

I wish you the best for a speedy divorce.

I can relate to your loneliness - it is very hard to be on your own with no one to fulfill your affection needs. And unfortunately there is no easy fix. I think you just get more used to it in time. For now you have to build your life to be so good you think of it less. That will make you more desirable for Mr. Wonderful Marine (or whatever he might be!).

Welcome to our board - I hope you learn as much as I have. These women are a true joy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 11:27pm

Hi..and welcome.

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 4:45am

Hi, thank you ladies for reading my message. I know I won't go back to my ex husband we tried a couple of times. The reason is, you know we had it all, and then he thought he should throw it away on drugs. So we lost EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! Then when I found out who was hanging out with a bunch of teenage girls during his drug episode's and had an affair with one of them (he's 36 and she was 19) I told him to leave that the trust was gone, no matter what we went through the trust and the vow's were broken. Plus I could never forgive him for loosing our family home, etc.. over something as stupid as drugs. By the way I did call the girls parent's to let them know, that not only was she having an affair with a 36 year old man, but they were spending my money on drug's.

Anyway's their is more to this long, long.. story about us two, so to get back together would be wrong now. For us to get a divorce we have to take parenting Classes in our state and since he wouldn't even go to rehab, or counseling (he say's he's off the drug's)I doubt he will go to thease classes. I won't let him have the girl's unless he stay's with his parent's, so on saturday nites he has them, and I sometimes go out, but mostly I stay home.

I know the romance book's are just for fun, but wouldn't it be nice to have an adventure like that just once. LOL
I'll keep you posted.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 11:03am
Hey Kim,
Just curious - what were the "red flags"?
thx!
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 11:12am

Well, my last name is Murphy and I've done online dating, so can you figure out my luck? LOL?

I get all the wierdos, stalkers, non-commited and just plain goofballs. I gave it up after 2yrs, but I am crazy about military men, because I've been around them most of my life, so in the last 3 months, I hang out where they are (which only happened by chance) and I've had the best time. I have only dated one guy a few months ago, but I have had many offers that I decide to decline for one reason or another. Right now because I am taking time off, but it doesn't keep me from going out with my friends and flirting. It always helps to have a friend who is up for the fun to go out and just mingle and have a great time. No expectations, but just a bit of flirting and enjoying time with your GIRLFRIENDS. It gets you out of the house without having to date and guys love it when women show up as a bunch. It does it very lonely and my heart goes out to all these ladies that are going through it, as I am. It's sooo hard, because one feels so unwanted and so ALONE. I have finally passed that phase, but it took 4yrs of AWFUL dating, due to the fact I thought I HAD TO HAVE SOMEONE...ANYONE!! Now, I have decided to quit hurting and torturing myself and except that I need to learn to come alone by myself and just love the person in the mirror, instead of the love I am trying to find. Then, and only then it'll come. I believe in that. Other people have a faith they believe in, I admit, I don't and often am jealous that others can place faith in God. I grew up in a religious household from both sides of the family, but I'm just not that type of person, so I have to place faith in myself.
I'm not saying give up the dating scene, I am saying go out with your friends if it's possible and show the guys that your fun to be with. They'll flock to you like bee's to honey.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 1:59pm

LOL...OK, this will be fun!


Guy #1.

Kim

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 2:19pm

Hey, Kim!!!! I didn't realize you were seeing someone new and having such a great time. The last I'd knew was that you dropped Mr. Porno!


Where did you meet him? What ARE your common interests?


BEWARE...men who "don't mind" that you hate sports and don't want to watch them together will inevitably push them on you. They will NEVER really understand why you don't just love it with them. You're probably going to have to learn to at least tolerate watching sometimes. But you can get even by making him watch a chick flick with you. ;)

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 3:02pm

I think it can't hurt to date online. I never dated anyone online, but I've met people. People that are good friends of mine now. Mostly thru chat and lots of conversations for a long time before I'd actually meet them in public and in a well lit place.

But there are so many online dating sites out there. I hear Cupid.com ads all over the radio. They let you zero in on locals in your own zip code so you are not hearing from people all over the place. They also have speed dating parties at local locations so you can meet singles. I don't know anyone that has used the site or gone to the events, but I imagine they can be fun.

Yahoo, as Gabriella mentioned, is a good one too and I also hear (if you don't mind paying a fee) that eharmony.com is good. But I never tried any of them.

I met my husband at a bar. I was not looking for a date that night, just out with friends and he approached me. He's wonderful. I don't suggest to everyone that meeting a mate at a bar is a good thing, but it worked for me. I wasn't opposed to online dating and would do it in a heartbeat if I were still single. Who knows? the right one is out there. But get that divorce first. And don't be closed off to men with kids. Mine has no kids (well one on the way with me) but I would love him just the same if he did.

Mel

<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wtCMCc4/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.Ticker

Pages