DATING STORIES &RED FLAGS

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
DATING STORIES &RED FLAGS
6
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 3:19pm

The post about red flags made me recall a few very interesting dating scenarios I got into when I was single and dating online. I thought it would be fun if we all shared a few of our interesting date stories- frightening or not so frightening...funny or serious red flags...

Here's one of mine:
I met a multi-millionnaire on yahoo.com. BELIEVE IT! I didn't know he was a millionaire until our second date. Our first date we met for coffee in my neighborhood and talked for hours. There was no chemistry for me, but he was incredibly funny and eccentric as heck! I paid for my own coffee. LOL I noticed he had this incredible watch on, I can't remember the brand, but I commented on it and he said thanks and told me a story about how he had acquired it. Said it was a rare swiss watch and he collects them. That kind of gave me a clue...

On our 2nd date he took me to a restaurant called the Barking Frog - very expensive high scale next to a winery, and must have spent about $250! I mentioned something about wanting to learn to snowboard, and he offered to take me (and my daughter) to Switzerland for lessons. LMAO! By now I was starting to get a little nervous. I kissed him goodnight that time, still no chemistry for me. I learned his last name by then and googled him. Turned out he not only owned this incredible house on the east side, he owned the whole block! Also, watches weren't the only thing he collected. He also collected cars...sports cars.

For our 3rd date he asked me if I wanted to go to San Francisco with him for the weekend. I thought that was going a little fast...silly me! I wasn't sure about him...the chemistry just wasn't there, but he made me laugh...we had dinner one more time, and that's when I found out...

He had just ended a relationship with a woman whom he lived with, she had a daughter about the same age as mine. It had been about 4 months now, and he was starting to get lonely. He even told me his house came furnished and ready for a little girl and everything a little girl could want and he couldn't wait to meet her. I was floored! He was looking for a replacement family.

I declined the invitation to go to SF with him...told him I was a little uncomfortable with the pace in which we were moving, and I didn't hear from him again after that and was actually relieved. 4 months later he emailed me to see if I'm still interested in dating him! I told him no, I was seeing someone else by then, and that was that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 3:34pm
I talked to a guy from an online dating site. I talked to him on the phone and he was already talking about our future before the end of the conversation. He said he had read my ad and knew I was the one. I should have known. I met him for lunch anyway and he was disgusting. He looked nothing at all like his picture, he had clearly fallen on hard times since it was taken. He had teeth worse that my ex, he was smelly and greasy. I sent him an email later that day that I was not interested, a nice polite email. Two days later and a few days after that he emailed me extremely long messages about how devastated he was that I would not see him again and how I should really rethink it so I could know what it was like to be put up on a pedestal by someone. The first email I ignored, the second one I wrote a really harsh reply to, and I didn't hear from him after that.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 3:43pm

Hmmm...I'm assuming it's been a while now...maybe he's in an emotionally healthier place now!!! Feel free to send me his ID on Yahoo ;-).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 5:08pm

I met with a guy at a local fast food restaraunt.

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 5:51pm
LOL it was over 2 1/2 years ago. I honestly can't remember his screen name anymore, or his last name for that matter! But his first name is Bryce and he owns susbtantial real estate in Redmond, WA. He's should be about 37 or 38 now. Blonde, blue eyed. Maybe you'll find him. ;)
Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 8:35pm

Too funny! Or scary? I'm not sure which. I suppose then it was pretty freaky, now you probably can just laugh at the whole thing.

I haven't had too many experiences quite like that one. I did have one guy who before he even ever met me in person (we met on an online dating site and talked on the phone quite a while) was basically planning our future and calling me sweetheart. Needless to say, I never went out with him, I was afraid to. And it took months before he stopped calling finally.

Hugs
Tara

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 9:21pm

I thought of another one.

When my bf and I broke up last August, I was so sad I just wanted to force myself to get on with my life so I put an online ad back up. I talked to this nice guy who lived in my town. We talked a few times but had no plans to meet because the nice guy liked to really get to know someone on the phone first. Anyway, we discovered my ex and his best friend worked together (it was a new job for my ex). I had also told him about me having an affair in my marriage (necessary disclosure on my part).

About a week after talking to him, he sends me this email one night saying I need to call him because he had something important to ask me. He tells me that his best friend called him today (the guy who worked with my ex) and was going on and on about a happy hour with coworkers the night before where the 'new guy' (my ex) was telling everyone how he had caught me in bed, in our home having affairs on different occassions, with different people, and one time with two guys at once. He had a bunch of other lies he was telling about me and then said he had to leave me eventually because of the repeated lies and cheating. Well, when I first heard this I laughed. It was the craziest thing I had ever heard. Then I started thinking about the fact I did have an affair (he didn't catch me, I confessed when I asked for a divorce) and my ex could still be bitter about it. Then I started to get mad and I was thinking, if this could get back to me, it could get to a teacher or another parent at dd's school and what would they think? And what was my ex trying to gain, letting his coworkers think he was sharing custody with a lunatic sex feind? The nice online guy said then the happy hour led to an all night trip to atlantic city and only one person even made it into work the next day and it was not my ex. I thought, this is his new job, how nice.

I asked my best friend and my therapist for advice and decided to confront my ex. I told him we needed to talk, and we had planned to do it in person but ended up having to do it on the phone. I told him what I had heard and how I had heard it. He said there was a happy hour and he did tell people I had cheated on him, but that was it. And he said there was an all night happy hour that ended in atlantic city but he did not go with them. He said he had started dating this 25 year old at work and she did go to atlantic city, and she was the only one who went that showed up at work the next day. But he fully denied saying all those other things. Well in my mind if the story was 1/2 true it was all true, and anyways I didn't care. I just wanted him to know he can't talk about me because it will get back to me, and get him to promise to never do it again, which he did.

A week later he calls me and says he talked to his new gf and she doesn't remember him saying anything about an affair or anything negative about me, and he's so confused about why his new coworker would make that story up. Whatever, at that point it had been a couple weeks and I was getting past it. Then he tells me that when I had said I wanted to 'talk' he panicked and went around asking everyone, coworkers, new gf and his mother, what I might possible want to 'talk' about. Well they all said, "she must want you back!" I stiffled my laugh and tried not to fall off my chair. Yikes. Why he told me this after he new that wasn't what I was wanting to talk about, I'll never know. I said to him, "wouldn't you know if that was the case, wouldn't I have been acting differently towards you?" and he agreed he would have known, but then he said, "but everyone was so sure that was it." Geez. His coworkers and gf don't know me, and I don't call up his mom and chat any more. So I said, "how would they know?" He agreed it was not a good guess on their part and he shouldn't have believed it. Sigh.

Anyway, it was too weird to talk to the nice online guy after that. I tried once and was just uncomfortable. Then after that I got back together with my bf anyway.

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