Friday night to MYSELF, any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Friday night to MYSELF, any suggestions?
4
Fri, 12-10-2004 - 12:01pm
New here but I'm a regular on a couple of other boards. This will be the first friday night BY MYSELF since TBX and I separated four months ago. I've only got a few hours (5:30-8:30), and I can't find any friends who have the evening free. Any suggestions for getting "out there" and meeting people without looking desperate? I don't want to pick anyone up or anything but I can't meet people if I just stay at home!
Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 12-10-2004 - 12:09pm

I'd probably go to a local coffee shop with a good book and a friendly face, ready to keep my nose OUT of my book and available for conversation!


Or a bookstore, where you have the opportunity to browse and start conversation with other browsers.


But, I am a reader/coffee drinker, so these suggestions fit me and my personality. What do YOU like to do?



Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 11:54am

I remember being at that crossroads myself.

It's taken me a few years, but I'm now involved in things that get me "out" and with people I have lots in common with.

For a quick "fix"...just not being alone, I like to go to Barnes and Noble's Starbucks and have coffee, read all the magazines I can't afford to buy, and watch people. Anywhere like that where there is a crowd, the mall, the library, etc, is good to not feel alone.

The best things that have done it for me though, long term, are getting into grad school (happy hour every Friday with LOTS of good conversation and appetizers) and karate (great fellowship in our little dojo, mostly adults and college students, great encouragement). I also have friends at my church. So I have several scheduled times to be out and about now and I very rarely feel lonely. My few hours of alone time during the week are a time to relax and regroup.

Work on your goals and the rest will come. Best of luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 12:10pm

Good point Beck.

Something my counselor did at the time I was going through my first year of divorce was to have me make a list of "20 Things I love to do", and rate them as to

1) Whether they were things I could do alone or needed company
2) Whether they were free or cost
3) Whether they were things that had to be scheduled or could be spontaneous
and
4) The last time I had done that certain activity

It was a great help becuase then I had a ready reference when I ended up with an unplanned few hours to myself and I could just pick one and take off!!

Some of mine were as simple as "walk barefoot in the grass" which was a great half hour revitalizer!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 12-16-2004 - 8:19pm

I think it is nearly impossible to find friends that are free when you are free of your kids!! Anyway, I wanted to list what I do -

When alone - I always try to do SOMETHING for ME that would be hard to do with my son. Something I enjoy by myself. Shopping in a food store - the Whole Food Store to be exact - is really fun for me since I have a chef's background. I love all of the beautiful produce, the goat cheese, the neat breads, the delicious teas, the soups and the salads. I get a LOT of ideas and inspiration for cooking by seeing what they have there. I could shop there with him but it is not possible to spend that much time when he is there.

I also like to go to the mall - you can eat in the food court and not feel "lonely" - and even if you don't have money you can have fun. It is great to try on shoes or to go and sample perfumes and body creams at the Body Shop and the Bath and Body Shoppe.

Another great thing to do is to see a movie by yourself. I do that a lot.

My gym offers yoga classes most every night and those can be fun.

Finally, there is nothing wrong with staying home and taking a long hot bath with a cup of tea and then reading a book while it is quiet with no interruptions. Sometimes I clean closets and then list stuff to sell on ebay.

I hope I have given you some good ideas.