aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
7
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 10:23pm

he's playing the guilt card. I'm going to have to shut it down I think.

He says he "liked me" and I "broke his heart"...because we didn't meet once out of a year and a half.

He's yanking my chain, isn't he?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 12-21-2004 - 10:44pm

aaawwwwww! Hang in there. Don't let him manipulate you. You made the right decision not to meet him that night and you had solid reasons. Tell him you wanted to meet him but couldn't, and if that counts as breaking his heart then his heart must be very breakable, and he better lock it up for good if that's the case.

Not being able to drop everything for him is not breaking his heart. He wants you to feel bad. Don't give that to him.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 1:20am

I totally agree! You not dropping everything you're doing because he decides he wants to see you, that's made him mad. And when people get mad, they lash out and try to hurt others. So what's he doing? Playing on your emotions, knowing that you'll start to feel guilty, and then you'll go out of your way to "make it up" to him.

Too bad!

You are a strong and intelligent woman. You have a family that comes first and he does NOT respect that. Good for you for not giving in and playing his games.

By the way, how are things with your daughter?

Alison

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 7:42am

He cannot yank your chain if you do not answer his calls. He has no base for this behavior after the very little he has given you and for the reasons you didn't go. I don't really think he even has a heart to break. The only thing broken is his bloody ego.

I know you are destined for bigger and better things. I hope you can find the strength to put this past you and not let him get to you.

I just had a funny thing happen. There was a guy I met online 2 years ago. We really hit it off well but he would pull back whenever we got close and this was frustrating to me at the time. His wife left him and he said he was divorced. I am not sure now. But anyway, he ended up getting back with his wife. I am okay because I am long over him now. Anyway, he just sent a Christmas card saying he was thinking about me and hoped I was doing well and bla bla bla. He didn't put a return address. The audicity!! That card went right into the shredder in my office.

This is all like manure washing down the stream - you just let it go by and you don't touch it or stir it up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 12:02pm

They're ok. She left this morning for ND, to spend a week and a half there for the holidays. It'll be kinda peaceful here for awhile.

I know his ego is hurt, I'm just letting it go. He'll be ok.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 12:06pm


Wow, that is weird. Like he thought you needed some word from him? Or he wanted to stir you up, but not deal with the consequences. Idjit!

It's email that I'm dealing with. He sent me one today with all kind of things in it that I didn't say, just like the time before. I tried to answer them last time, rationally and kindly. He's having none of that, so this time I just said "ok, have fun and stay safe"...and let it be. I'm not taking the bait. It was obvious from this one that he wanted me to tell him to PLEASE come by and be intimate. LOL...whatEVER.

He never did get that it wasn't the sex, it was the connection, which had gotten so thin lately that it was almost non existent.

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 1:39pm

Glad you're moving on Candi. A man who can't handle a grown up's "splitting up and moving on" for very good reasons isn't worth his salt. He's being childish (can you say HIGH SCHOOL?) and I think Judy's right. He can only jerk you around if you let him.


Hugs

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 12-22-2004 - 1:50pm

Oh dear - he is assaulting you with emails!! I guess for those you just have to hit the delete key.

Yeah - I think the only reason this guy who sent the card got back with his wife was for his kids. Especially his younger daughter. She has a learning disability from being in a car crash and she does better when he is around. He was always torn between me and his kids 4 hours away. In the end, his wife and kids moved here.

At any rate, while he was really fun and we were compatible in so many ways, I realize it is not meant to be. I also realize, from some of the drama we went through, that I don't want someone married to the corporate world to the extent that they would get transferred to somewhere else.

It is funny how one person can really make you appreciate the next person.