what do I want for Christmas?
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| Wed, 12-22-2004 - 12:21pm |
With several of us talking about what we want in a relationship, I think I need to be more specific.
And Alison has talked a little about what a good guy she has. I'd like her to tell me if I'm way off base here, wanting something unrealistic.
I don't know what to expect, or what good is, from firsthand experience. My marriage was crappy, and though my relationships have improved, they're still NOT what I want. So what DO I want exactly.
Someone I can talk to for hours about things we're both interested in.
Someone who will give me massages as often as I give them to him.
I want to not be judged, I want to be encouraged.
But on a day to day basis? what will it look like?
I want someone I can wake up with and look at and smile, hugs and kisses. And maybe he'll say "what can I do for you today? anything you need help with?" Someone who inSISTS that I have my own car and that I go out with my friends often. Someone who would want to have lunch with me a couple of times a week, and wouldn't make me feel guilty about the times I didn't want to cook supper. He could cook himself, or take us out.
Someone who is committed to helping me get my grad degree AND my black belt in karate. And who has a couple of big dreams of his own that I can be helpful with.
Someone who knows my kids are GREAT and wants to help them succeed too. Someone who sees them as a good addition to HIS family and enjoys spending time with them, too.
Someone who likes to touch a lot, hold hands, put his arm around me...no matter where we are. Someone who'd like to go to church with me, without being dogmatic about it.
Someone who loves that I'm smart and realizes that most of the time my intuition is right.
That's for starters...am I howling at the moon? (an italian idiom that means "am I crazy")

I don't think you're crazy or unreasonable at all. These are not impossible expectations, really.
(well, ok, the massage part? I am learning quickly that while I may not get as many massages as I give I get other things that quite frankly, I LOVE to receive and don't care to give at all. So, it balances out.)
Someone I can talk to for hours about things we're both interested in. -- I have this. But sometimes I have to listen forever to things I am NOT interested in! LOL
Someone who will give me massages as often as I give them to him. -- See above.
I want to not be judged, I want to be encouraged. -- J is better at this than I am. So, I have this.
But on a day to day basis? what will it look like? -- What's it look like? It's FREEING!!! You are free to make decisions and your own choices and if you fail, you are still receving unconditional love.
I want someone I can wake up with and look at and smile, hugs and kisses. -- Most of the time because things are remarkably better with J and I, I can do this. And it's lovely.
And maybe he'll say "what can I do for you today? anything you need help with?" -- Some days I get this. Some days I give it. Some days we wake up grumpy and ignore each other for a little while. LOL
Someone who inSISTS that I have my own car and that I go out with my friends often. -- Yep, have that too.