"Firstamendement & Tara" and all...POLL

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
"Firstamendement & Tara" and all...POLL
9
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 5:26pm

After reading your story regarding X-man going into your Ivillage profile and finding you, it suddenly sounded soooooooooo familiar. Tara, didn't your X do the same thing on another site and you were worried he'd find you here? I remember you stayed off several months, or didn't really say much in fear that he might be watching your every move.
So, how as women, can we protect ourselves? Same goes for Firstamendment and her dating problem. She can't seem to move without this X "sotbots" (in case your wondering, I made it up: "scum on the bottom of the sea") trying to ruin her life. If we all remember, yes, she had an affair, but hey, we all know why. I, for one, would of done the same in her shoes. What's even worse, even though I haven't been in her shoes, I would of had one several times over. LOL. Sorry, bad. Very Bad. Ok, so where was I?
Yes, X's.
I often hear how we all struggle with our X's. Who, for some reason, still have this fascination with OUR lives.
Let's think of some fun way to get rid of them, ways to feel better, or put them in their place (this could also include verbal insults or anything lucrative). Maybe, they stop knocking on our door, snooping, or otherwise. It must be fun.... This is not to be taken seriously. Men, if you are lurking, please join. It's supposed to be about X's, just put the female version for my male version. X-husbands, fiances, boyfriends, dates. Anyone, who can't get the picture that OVER means OVER.

Let's do, the top 3 ways and no one is allowed to take someone else's; so no copying from other members. Think: How to get rid of my X:

Here is mine:
I took this out of the Oceans twelve movie that Goerge C. did on Brad P. behind the scenes and took an extra twist. So, placed as number one:
1. Get bumper stickers (about 100: worth the money) with the sign "small penis on board" and then cover his entire vehicle with it. Next morning, oops! How embarrassing

Things I have done:
2. Everytime he shows up, I wear curlers and a green mask.

3. My most favorite and seems to work. Keep nerving them with phone calls and those cell messages. When a guy was crazy about me and I wanted to get rid of him, then I would send him about 30 messages in one day. That drove him away. Instantly.

Ok, hope you all dig deep in your past sacks and open up, or get creative......

- Catherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003

Ok, I'll bite...

1) Get posters made up saying "Beware of stalker" and have his picture on it.

2) Change your voicemail to say, "Hi, you've reached (your name), if this is (stalkers' name) don't bother leaving a message, I'm recording them for my police file- anyone else, please leave a message after the beep.

3) Make up a t-shirt with his name on it and the circle with a line down the middle of it. Heck, make up those signs for your front door, your work, your friends...

LOL

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003

You know, I've never had an X that any sort of fascination with my life after the pretty normal 2 to 3 week period of "give me one more try, I promise, I'll do better" crap. Ever.

I don't know. Maybe it's because I always make a point when discussing hobbies in the beginning stages of dating to mention that I have a concealed weapon permit with 3 guns on it, am a first class markswoman, and own many guns.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004

Oops...I misread the question and answered wrong....so I edited...




Edited 1/11/2005 6:38 am ET ET by juls68
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004

Just to clarify, my ex wasn't stalking me. I was just thinking, what if someone in his office, say someone having custody issues, was reading the custody board I had been posting on and recognized the story, and then told him about it. I worry about the same thing with my bf. He has a family member that is single and dating, or what if his ex was on one of the other boards and recognized his story as told by me. He would think that was a huge violation of his privacy. So I think me being anonymous is also for his sake. Does anyone else worry (without having any known reason) that someone will see their post and know who they are? Or is it just me?

Anyway, I think my best way to get rid of my ex-h is to just let him be. It can't be that long before he self destructs, he is so irresponsible.

My top 3 ways to send the message it's over:

1. Pressuring for a committment, immediately, with urgency in your voice
2. Completely ignore them, don't return emails, don't answer calls, don't return calls (this is how several men have sent me the message it's over, and I've done it to one or two guys)
3. Show up with the police at your side saying you want your stuff back (I did this one).

Photobucket

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003

Like I said, I know Tara went through it. Just like you, I seem to remember it had to do with custody.
Ladies, also to clarify this has to do with any X you couldn't get rid of or wanted to get the picture across it's over. By no means just stalkers.

Some of the one's you all mentioned, including the one Min was talking about with her weapons, are some of the things I found myself doing. LOL.

This post reminds me a little of the Movie how to get rid of a man in 10 days.

Avatar for tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003

Hey there
Yes my ex was spying on me. Probably still does, who knows. He managed to get my ivillage password, get my yahoo password, and read posts on the yahoo "club" we used to have many years ago associated with this board. Read a bunch of emails. Luckily, he didn't have any leg to stand on and couldn't use them against me. But it really made me guarded about what I'd say on here.

Unfortunately, we'll have to deal with our exes forever because we have kids with them. But I do try to limit my contact with him as much as possible.

I honestly don't know of any ways I've tried to get rid of him. I dont' think i've ever gotten very creative there.
I have faked sick when he's been at the door to drop off/pick up the kids so I could hurry up and get rid of him. ;)

Hugs
Tara

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2002

How to get rid of any man ---

Be needy, clingy, whiny, talk baby talk, claim ownership in anyway, nag, belittle, call too much and not have your own life.

How to get rid of a man who doesnt get it ---

NO CONTACT

BLOCK NUMBERS- emails and IMs

and last resort...restraining order!

Thank goodness I have never had to do the last resort !!

:) and I agree with another poster--- See "How to lose a guy in 10 days" GREAT MOVIE!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004

I can tell you how I gave a major big hint to a guy who is a childhood friend who really likes me - but there is just no chemistry on my end.

I talked endlessly about my child and all the things we do (that I know he wouldn't like to do) and all the things I like that I know he doesn't like.

Then he figured it out - he said - wow - you have your whole life figured out and I don't fit in. This was a humane approach so he didn't feel rejected and we could keep somewhat of a friendship.

I really like him as a friend and would do more things with him. But every time he has too much to drink he comes on sexually to me. And I just can't stand that.

Otherwise the best thing to do is NOTHING - just ignore them and they go away.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Believe me! I've had X's coming back for over 15yrs. They always come back in my case. They try to contact me someway or another for YEARS. I have NO CONTACT, I make no contact and yet, they are so intrigued by it, that they all eventually come running back or they never let go. It's murphyslaw. I really hate my last name.