The last straw!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
The last straw!!!
15
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 7:02pm

Dylan has had a rash on the torso of his body now off and on for about a month. I've given him Benadryl and it's helped, but yesterday took him to the pediatrician for a final diagnosis. She diagnosed him with Eczema and a little Impetigo from scratching. He's on an antiboitic and an anit-itch and a steriod cream. Should clear it up by the end of the weekend. He was supposed to go to his father's this weekend, but I have chosen to keep him home because his father, his wife and her two kids have Scabies. Labor Day weekend, Scott's nephews were there with his mother and the oldest on had it and no one knew that's what he had. So he's all over the house spreading his infection. Dylan was there too.

So far, nothing has showed up on Shane or me, but Scott and his wife DO have it. Shane and I are not scratching at all. No signs of rash or anything. We feel Dylan was the lucky one and did not get it.

This could have been prevented months ago. Scott's mother found out her grandson had the disease and never told any of us he had it so we could take steps to treat it in our homes. I'm furious! She has NO excuses for this. None. And I made sure she knows it. I forbid her from having my son over there with the nephews and if I hear they were there while Dylan was visiting, I'll remove him permanently from her home.

Scott is adamant Dylan has it and thinks he knows better than our doctors. He even wanted me to give him permission to stop Dylan's current meds so he could give Dylan their meds that were not even prescribed for him. NOT! My doctor said ABSOLUTELY NOT! Plus, that cream would fiercely interact with Dylan's stuff. It's still going to be in his system. SO now he has to miss a visit.

Also with me being pregnant, I'm afraid that if it turned out to be scabies, I could get it or already have it and not know it and how can I be treated??? I spoke to a dermatologist today that said they feel like DYlan's condition is axactly what his pediatrician said. Eczema. Nothing more. But we'll see how things go.

I'm so furious with Scott's mother. She had NO right to keep this from us. Now we are all scrambling to make sure we aren't infected when it could have been handled months ago.

The nerve of her!

Mel

<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wtCMCc4/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.Ticker

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 7:37pm

I got scabies terribly when I was 17 and went on a 4 week backpacking expedition. I didn't know I had it for a very long time, and my entire family was infested with them. They were not fun. We didn't get terrible bacterial infections - thank goodness - cause I was smart enough to tell my mom immediately when I started itching and we were all treated with creams immediately and cleaned the house from top to bottom.

Here is a link on scabies: http://www.ashastd.org/stdfaqs/scabies.html

It looks like one of the creams is safe for pregnant women, in case you do get it.

HUGS! I'm sorry! I hope none of you get it!!!!

(By the way - scabies like nooks and crannies - - - inside of elbows, knees, arm pits, etc. - not torsos.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 8:20pm

Mel,

You are absolutely right to keep him away from there if they are still infected, it is not a fun thing to deal with. But if you get them, you can use a cream, you don't need an oral remedy. But then you will have to wash everything in hot hot water or put things that cannot be washed in a big garbage bag for up to two weeks.

I know when I got it at 17, friend visiting from out of town who didn't know they had them, we put a lot of things in bags that we sprayed with bug killer, then after 2 weeks we aired everything outside in the sun.

But really, you're right that the family is responsible- if they knew someone was infected, they should ensure to let everyone know.

Alison

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: lissa91
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 8:21pm

You poor thing. Scott and his family sound SO MUCH like my ex and his family. His sister's kids had chicken pox and she neglected to tell us that before we took a trip there with our newborn son until the night before we were supposed to leave.

Some people will just never learn to be considerate. Thank goodness they live so far.

I am praying he doesn't have scabies. It doesn't sound like it. I did find this link for you:
http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dpd/parasites/scabies/factsht_scabies.htm

Try not to freak - think positive. Labor day was some time back so hopefully they didn't get it then but from the kids at school recently and Dylan was not exposed.

The first thing I thought of when I saw rash on the torso for D was a food allergy. But the pediatrician would surely and hopefully know the difference. You are very correct to listen to the doctor and not the idiot exh.

I do appreciate this post because I see that others suffer from dumb EXHs and bad MILs/EXMILs. It is so helpful for us to see what life is like on the other side - and to keep expectations in check!! :-)

Try not to stress - keep growing the baby and smiling!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 10:42pm

Thanks. I figured he just didn't have it and I'm trusting his doctor, not my idiot ex. The cream prescribed to Dylan is working and is NOT for scabies. He's feeling great and not itching either. He never had a persistent itch like the one described for scabies. Always was an itch here or there and random. Not constant. Scott says his feels the same but he has it so there fore, Dylan does too. He thinks that things that seem alike ARE alike. UMMM...NO!

So we'll see. I'm going to watch him like a hawk. If he shows any signs of a relapse, I'll take him to a dermatologist but until then, I trust his pediatrician to know her stuff. She has the license for a reason!

Hugs!

Mel

<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wtCMCc4/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.Ticker

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 7:50am

Hey sweetie! So sorry about Scott and the MIL. I totally understand where you are coming from. I'd be just as furious! So, what is the plan now? What are you going to do? You said it was the last straw, so what can you do?

Big hugs darlin and keep your chin up.

- Catherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 9:12am

Well, I don't blame Scott or his wife for this. It's his mother and his ex SIL that caused the issue. XSIL's oldest kid had it and spread it and no one bothered to say a word to Scott or I about it so we could handle our own homes. Scott's aggravated with her now because he has to miss this weekend with D. I blame FULLY his mother and the XSIL (the one I used to be friends with and lived near).

The last straw is that I have put up with my XMIL's crap since before I married her idiot son and I still seem to be tolerating it over and over. Be it her accusing me of faking an illness when I was at my worst healthwise, to taking Dylan from me when he'd cry as a baby as if she could do a better job, or taking Dylan to an inappropriate movie without asking me if he could see it. It's just endless her aggravation and I'm sick of her. I choose to keep him from being over there at her house. She's obviously proven she's irresponsible and I can't trust her not to have the other boys there and I can't trust their own mother to make sure they don't have an infectious disease that Dylan can get from them. They have had many of them, so this is not isolated. Fortunately for me, my divorce papers do not state that XMIL has rights. So I can legally decide that Dylan can no longer go over there if I choose. It's not like she ever shows any interest anyway. She's all wrapped up in the other two older boys of my XSIL. Scott and I both notice that and she ignores Scott's stepsons too. His wife is livid over that because her family lives far away and had hoped Scott's mom would be a good NaNa to them too. Dylan never talks about going over there. He never asks to see her but he's always asking to see my parents. They show love toward him. They ask to keep him a lot and it makes a huge difference. XMIL has not seen Dylan since his visit to Scott's at Christmas and from what D says, he got no gift from her. She has not called or emailed or anything to ask how he is. Never does. I refuse to update a woman about my kid that isn't intersted. So she's lost out now.

His rash is MUCH better today. It's almost disappeared completely and the doctor said this medication is not going to help scabies at all, so if he had it, they would still be there. I'm happy he's feeling better now. ANd I'll just keep him with me this weekend and enjoy my sweet boy.

Mel

<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wtCMCc4/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.Ticker

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 9:37am

I agree! Keep the witch away from your little sweetie boy! Tell her to stick her broom where the son doesn't shine! He doesn't deserve that. No child does! ARGH!

I'm so sorry for that. I am only happy to know that your parents are so loving. It's so important!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 9:59am

Hey Mel...ex problems are nasty aren't they? The sad truth is they are going to be around till Dylan is grown. I'm sure you heard about a lot of my "last straws" on the board, too. But the problem never really goes away. It's really good that Dylan has you to take care of him.


Does Dylan like his grandma? I had an interfering mother in law too...always thinking she could raise kids better than her daughter-daughter's in law. But when I looked at her life, she's like that with everyone. Kind of sad really, she has no real friends because she's so manipulative and domineering. And I see that she is really afraid that no one will pay attention to her if she isn't manipulative. My kids still see her on a very limited basis, when they want to go to her house.


I don't blame you for wanting to limit her influence. Hang in there.




Edited 1/14/2005 10:04 am ET ET by cl-revenoc
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 3:18pm

Dylan loves her, but she is such a manipulative woman and uses her poor life as a child as a weapon to get back at all of us.

I did find out that Scott has misunderstood some stuff and that although they didn't inform anyone RIGHT AWAY as they should have, they didn't know for months, only a few weeks. Still, no excuse. I sent her an email letting her know how upset I was and she fired one back at me pointing fingers at me about stuff she has no basis to point fingers about. Then got Scott's wife involved with it and had her mad at me too, but she and I cleared that up. As for the XSIL, well she emailed me too firing off about my family and how I never consider anyone but me and Shane and the Hell with anyone else. It's been ugly all day. This is a woman I considered to be a friend and whom I paid a lot of money to help her out in situations and placed myself in bad situations to help her. I get paid back with that kind of crap.

It's not fair. But I am taking it with a grain of salt, because in the end, the only people that DO matter are Dylan, Emily, Shane and me. We know we did nothing wrong and if anyone else feels like we're at fault, screw them. I have no time for losers in my life.

Mel

<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wtCMCc4/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 3:19pm

I'm sorry you are going through this, Mel.

Jojo has very little to no contact with my ExMIL. She is an evil, wretched, miserable, manipulative, conniving witch of a woman (actually in the top 5 reasons we divorced), and I prefer that he NOT be around her. Because she was so stupid and made disparaging comments in front of me and in front of my ex to our ds about me (the biggest one being telling Jojo that I don't love him, because if I did, I would have worked it out with ex so that he wouldn't have to go through a divorce - repeatedly, in front of many people. On Thanksgiving THIS YEAR my ex took him to his sister's house and EXMIL was there (he had just come from spending ALL Thanksgiving day with his girlfriend, me and my family) and told Jojo that she was so sorry he couldn't spend the entire day with his family on Thanksgiving - and to remember that it was his mommy and her selfishness and her not loving him enough who made him go through the divorce and it's his mom who is the reason he will never have a "normal" life)- my ex agrees that she should not be around him unsupervised at all - and very limited amounts supervised. After her remark on Thanksgiving, I sent her a letter via certified mail informing her that in accordance with the terms of EX's and I divorce paperwork and in accordance with Nevada Law, that if she made any further disparaging remarks about me in the presence of my son, that I would file a civil suit against her seeking monetary compensation for psychiatric treatment and the infliction of emotional pain, suffering and distress for Jojo, and place a restraining order against her. I also informed her that her telling my son my intentions would be considered a verbal attack and done so in bad faith and the spirit of ill will and harm, and actions would immediately commence. I hope she knows me well enough to know I mean every single solitary word of that letter. I sent a copy of the letter to my ex, to my ex SIL, and to my attorney, so that she couldn't twist it around to make it sound like *I* was attacking her - and because I quoted them both - because they both heard her comments. I was simply telling her 'if you speak negatively about me to my son ever again, this is what I will do. Please consider this your official notice."

My son has not seen her since. I imagine the next time he sees her will be on his cousin's birthday - as I'm sure she'll attend his party. I seriously hope she can keep her mouth shut - otherwise I'll follow through.

Pages