will wonders never cease?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
will wonders never cease?
19
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 10:22am

I got an email from trav today. I haven't heard from him since before Christmas. He's in the neighborhood...


I am having all these weird feelings. Just yesterday I went through this whole thing in my head about "I'll never get over him. No one else is going to compare, and no one will make me feel the way he did." I talked myself out of it by saying not to be stupid, I hadn't even heard from him which should tell me that I meant a lot less to him than I had believed. So...of course...now I hear from him.


*sigh*...

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Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 11:40am

Ahhhh...the power of self talk again.


And then he calls and messes it up. Candi, he still can't/isn't willing to offer what you need. Get back on the truthful self talk girl.


Hugs. I hate when men pop up like that and all it ends up doing is rocking our boat a little. Ugh.

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 11:49am

It is good that I already had THAT talk with myself. It made me think of some of the things that weren't right for me in my time with trav.


He can't give me what I need, and he can't need me as much as I need to be needed...if THAT makes any sense. :)


I told him chatty, friend stuff about how well things are going and how happy I am with my life. He knows where I am if he has anything significant to say. He did say he will always be my friend. That's good for me, that's closure. If he wanted to take me out to dinner, I'd go...but he's getting no invitation to anything more intimate.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 12:20pm
Oh sweetie! I'm sorry for that. I know how much it stings when an X shows up at the door. I mean, one that we care for. What's he doing in town? I thought he was overseas? That's kind of odd, or did I misunderstand something?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 12:26pm

He does something similar to what your navy seal husband did, special ops and is in lots of different places. Though he spent a lot of time in the sandbox for awhile. He passes through on occasion, and this is evidently one of them.


Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 12:34pm

Well, I never married Alex's father, because I knew what the life would be like. VERY LONELY! NEVER KNOWING where they were, etc. etc. Everything and anything to make you feel insecure and depressed. LOL. No thanks! So, I totally understand and agree.

Oh, come on! Tell us who it is!!!! I'm glad your starting to notice again. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 12:41pm

sorry, my mistake...thought he was an exh. Yes, very uncertain kind of lifestyle, it just didn't work for me even though trav is a wonderful man.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 1:45pm

He sounds like a pop up window!! Pops up when you least expect it. Except he brings back a whole truck load of disappointing memories for you girl!!

Okay - apply the "chariot-with-12-matched-white-horse" rule. He doesn't get to even knock on your door unless he shows up at your house with a chariot and 12 matched white horses. AND he has to agree to meet ALL of your emotional needs. Period.

Sorry you have to go through this. And don't worry - you will meet one better. I am betting before you met him you had no idea you would meet one like him. Well guess what? If you did that once you can do it again. And you will - you have a sense of fun, a good nature, a kind heart and a lot alot of smarts!!

Okay - now tell us who the new crush is? Who is this man you are losing the battle with? Is it one of your latin students?????

TELL!!!!

(edited AFTER reading the rest of the posts!!)




Edited 1/31/2005 1:47 pm ET ET by west1745
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 1:59pm

Well, no chariots but he is being a gentleman. I think maybe he's getting advice from the pastor. *giggle*


It's Israel, my friend, hermano in Cristos and student. He's gorgeous, a livewire, and smart as a whip. He's carried my books for me after class and he walked us to the car last night. And he taught me to salsa.


We have a lot in common. He is like me in that he picks up languages wherever he can. He worked for a Japanese guy before he came here and he surprised me one night with a few Japanese words! (the second favorite language in our house).


There's a lot of hugging that goes on in the latin culture..."abrazos y besitos" hugs and cheek kisses. I realize today though, that Izzy and I were hugging way more than culturally necessary...I mean at the drop of a hat. Our eyes would meet and we couldn't think of anything else to do but hug. *BLUSH* I hope it wasn't that obvious to everyone else.


He couldn't be interested in me...I keep telling myself that. But you don't hug alone, right? If he is interested, I'm a goner...he's so adorable I'll fall like a ton of bricks.


I'm quite a bit older than he is, but he has no way of knowing that. I don't think I'll tell him just yet. He's sure fun, whatever happens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 4:17pm

Are you teaching English as a Second Language? My ex husband is Peruvian and I speak Spanish very well. I can't give a ringing endorsement for guy's who are just learning the language. My ex was a student. I worked my behind off, while he went to school. The more money I made, the less and less he worked. And, he was very nice and charming in the beginning.

My rule of thumb is this. It's okay if the guy is younger, or whatever, but he needs to have a career and his finances in order. I won't support another one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 01-31-2005 - 4:18pm

OH, by the way, Judy...and anyone else...


Do you know if age difference is such a big deal in the latino culture? I'm thinking of a few friends I have and things I've read and I'm thinking it's not such an issue as it is for us in the U.S.

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