OK....an update

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2001
OK....an update
2
Sat, 07-23-2005 - 9:33pm

Let's see....the kids have been away all summer. The are supposed to return tomorrow...I say supposed to...

Over the summer, things really went well with my GF...we got together a couple of weekends and during the week of July 4. Right now, we aren't certain when we'll see each other again...but we talk everyday and exchange IM's and E-mail's.

The sour point to the summer was my father. While I was there visiting, he was diagnosed with a Grade IV brain tumor. Most of it was removed...but not all of it. The most Chemo and Radiation can to is slow it down...the prognosis is anywhere between 4 months and 5 years...depending on the response to the treatment.

Of course, the IE hasn't been out of the picture either. When quizzed why she left the kids here with me to begin with, she said to find work. DD responded, "but you aren't working (so try again)"...so IE told the kids that she left because she was afraid that I was going to be "arrested for porn" and did not want to be in a homeless shelter with them, so she moved close to family. She also told my DD that the reason she divorced me was because "your Dad is a sick man about sex". Needless to say, the FCA, my atty and I were not pleased.

Now the IE is telling the FCA that she should have immediate custody because I am too distraught about my father, and too preoccupied about my GF to be a responsible parent. She also claims to have a recorded phone conversation in which I am threatening her...that I have NO idea about.

I guess I'll find out how much she wants to push her luck...she may not put the kids on the plane tomorrow.

So...there you have it!

Tbone

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: az_tbone
Sun, 07-24-2005 - 1:14pm

Good to see you back here, you have been missed!

Glad things are still going well with your gf, I'm sure it's a relief that it's still going strong, isn't it? Have you two talked about moving closer, or is that still too far in the future? If she did move (or you did) would you want it to just be moving in together at that point, or just nearby?

Sorry your ex is giving you so many problems, they seem to be good for that. Nice of her to tell your kids that you might have been arrested, and that you were a porn addict- wonder what they think of HER now for saying those things? Just remember that kids are smarter than some parents think- and her putting you down is only going to reflect badly on HER, not you. Kids know who's been there for them, who's listened to them, and who's involved in their lives. Even a parent who's not with thier kids all the time, but who puts in that effort is noted with the kids.

I believe that she's just trying to cause trouble because you're so happy. There's nothing wrong with you being in love, or wanting to spend time with that person. If anything it will make you a better parent, because being happy makes you less stressed out and able to be more patient and understanding with the kids. I'm sure they are thrilled for you that you found someone!

So just keep a record of all the things your ex promises, all the things she says to your kids to put you down and all the mean things she says to you. You know that you can file police harrassment charges if she's falsely accusing you of things to child services or the police- it's criminal. A friend of mine has a son who is delayed, and he will sometimes just start screaming and crying if he can't get what he wants, and her neighbour called the police on her. She had to take him to the doctor to prove that she wasn't abusing her son, and this woman called on her again. The police came by again, and she showed them the kid, and the doctor's report, and they told her that they would speak with the neighbour and if she called again that my friend could press charges.

Anyway, good to see you back on this board! Hope it all gets sorted out.

Alison

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: az_tbone
Sun, 07-24-2005 - 6:10pm

Alison,

This is great advice.

Sorry to hear about the trouble with your ex, t-bone, but I know you will see it all get straightened out soon. Keep us posted!




Edited 7/24/2005 6:12 pm ET ET by cl-west1745