Online Dating Advice Please

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Online Dating Advice Please
5
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 4:37pm

Hey everyone. I just wanted some input on the online dating thing. After my divorce, i went online once to a single parenting website, met a guy immediately, and dated him for this past year. It was a great experience, but unfortunately didn't work. I have now decided to venture out into the dating world again and have some questions about OLD.

1) What sites are good?
2) Any tips on weeding out the bad ones?
3) How do you let the relationship progress?
4) Do you give out a phone number or try to meet them in person first?

Everyone here has such great ideas, so i thought that this would be an awesome place to start getting my nerve up to do this all again!!

Thanks.

Steph

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 4:51pm
There is an online dating board and you might want to check in there too, they've got a lot of helpful information. But there is also a lot of OLD experience here too. My advice is check out a few sites, I like match and yahoo but those are the only two I've tried. I want to talk to someone once or twice before I meet them, but I don't want to spend too much time talking because you start to develop a mental picture of mannerisms and such and then you can end up disappointed when you finally meet. I give out my home number because I *never* use it and it wouldn't bother me if I had to change that number, plus I don't have voicemail on it and the only time I answer is if I know someone is calling me (otherwise I assume it's a telemarketer). I wouldn't want anyone to have my cell or work number until I had met them at least once. Once you meet them, then the relationship can progress just as it would if you had met them IRL.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 5:23pm

Hey Steph,

Sorry to hear your relationship did not work out. But I guess that is how those things go!!

First has great advice and I agree with her on the sites to use.

As for red flags - I think you can get real good at seeing those on their profile, email, phone and in person. Some that come to mind for me: multiple marriages, disregard for own children, doesn't want a spouse with children, travels all the time, consuming hobbies, wants to meet instantly, only wants sex and refers to it before you have met, completely different religious background, negative in correspondence, dismal personality on the phone, narcisstic - doesn't care about you or ask about you.

I am sure others will have good advice, too.

Keep us posted with what you find - we always love to hear dating experiences here!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 10:58am

1) What sites are good? I tried a few and preferred Match. You can post your profile on more than one and see which site you like the best.

2) Any tips on weeding out the bad ones? Not really. Just read the profile and try to read what they are really saying in their emails. Look for red flags.

3) How do you let the relationship progress? It has always worked better for me if I sat back and let the guy do the pursuing. With OLD, the guy is meeting other women and some of the women get crazy about pursuing the men. The guy thinks the one woman who is not falling all over herself to get to him is the one worth pursuing. They love a challenge.

4) Do you give out a phone number or try to meet them in person first? When I did OLD, I would email for one to two weeks. I would let the guy set up a very short first date. I held back my phone number until after the first meeting. If numbers had to be exchanged before meeting, I gave out my cell phone but did not have long phone conversations before meeting.........because, when you first see each other face-to-face that's when you'll know if it's worth pursuing or not. No sense giving out numbers or having faceless conversations if you're going to meet and there's no sparks.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 08-14-2005 - 9:02am

I am new here but actually was a columnist for an online dating site on how to best present yourself. And it was directed to the men!


Yahoo, Match & Date.com have always been great. I have met all my male friends and boyfriends online and dont regret one of them. Ive found it a great

Gina/39/FL 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 08-14-2005 - 4:24pm
Wow, Gina, that is awesome advice!! And we are so lucky to have a columnist for online dating advice!!!!!
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