Dating advice for the kids...
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| Tue, 08-16-2005 - 10:55pm |
Quite often we come here and ask for dating advice for ourselves, but what about our kids?
When will your child be *old enough* to start dating, and what advice will you give them when they start?
It's such a scary thought to me to just let him outside by himself, and he's almost 6, I can't even picture how things will be when he's 16!
Not sure when he'll be old enough, I guess that will be decided at the time when he expresses interest in the opposite sex- does having had 2 *girlfriends* in kindergarten count?
As for what I'll give for advice? The biggest thing will be safe sex, I will be talking about that openly for years before he gets to that age, just as my parents did with me. I will encourage him to date girls, not just become exclusive, until he's gotten to know them better. Not to settle for just any girl just to say he has a girlfriend. Not to play games with someone's heart, if he's not interested in the girl, don't string her along and give her false hope. Not to cheat on someone, whether it's a new girlfriend, long term relationship, or his wife- to end one thing before moving on to something else. To openly communicate his feelings to his partner, and encourage her to do the same- no one can read minds.
Other than that, I will ensure that he knows that she has to pass my approval or the deal's off -LOL, just kidding.
Alison


oh my gosh! Luckily I still have quite a few years before I have to worry about this one! LOL I think that right now the idea makes me extra silly nervous. But when the time comes, I will be a little older and wiser about these things. I do know dd won't "Date" until she's atleast 16. Going out with a group of friends where I have to drive her and pick her up will be allowed prior to that.
In the meantime, I am working dilligently in instilling a strong sense of self-esteem in her...so that she will be a leader not a follower and not afraid to stand up for herself. I speak with her daily about how she has the choice to control how she reacts or feels about a situation and nobody can change that for her, no matter what they say or do. I also tell her she has to look for friends who bring positives and smiles into her life, not jealousy or fear or sadness and that she should always be conscious of how her actions affect others and vice versa. It's a bit heavy material for her to digest it all at age 9, but she has a strong solid base to start with so that when she does start dating, and boys will be boys, she'll know when to tell them to take a hike if they aren't up to par! lol
She is really a sweet and wonderful girl...she is absolutely gorgeous but she doesn't know it. Her daddy and my SO both agree she'll be a "manslayer" when she grows up. LOL
I personally just hope her "Tomboy" qualities continue to manifest into something productive and strong for her, so she doesn't end up relying on what boys think of her to feel special.
I am very proud of her. She is definitely my pride and joy!
I don't like to think about this one. I figure I've got 10 or more years left before my son starts dating. I'd tell him to not get mixed up with girls and put it off as long as possible.
It's better to focus on school and sports. I'll make sure he stays busy.
He will be old enough when he turns 80!!
LOL!!
I plan to keep him busy with activities so this is not a main focus too young. I will also want to see group outings as opposed to one on one too early. I think I would also be concerned with safe driving and stuff like that, too.
I will most assuredly have a safe sex/sexual conseuqences conversation with him as I fit that in - I believe you should bring up the birds and bees topics as you see fit - not just as a nervous "time to do that" type of thing. In other words, if there is something that triggers that conversation then I will weave in my thoughts and opinions and preferences.
I believe that if you are close to your child, show interest in him/her, encourage talents and interests, and build self esteem, the rest of the work for dating, sex and finding a mate is easy - it is just a continuation of more of the same.