He Was There - GGGRRR

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
He Was There - GGGRRR
10
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 12:35pm

I went to my friend's sons birthday party last night and my ex bf was there. I haven't seen him in a week, finally had resigned myself to the fact that it was over, felt a little better, and then he walks in. I didn't know what to expect from him, but the response I got has just made it all hit me full force yet again. He completely acted like I didn't exist. I mean, we made eye contact a couple of times but other than that not really anything. At one point everyone was outside and I went out to get my dd. I said something like "My goodness she's everywhere tonight," and he looked at me and said "She's okay, let her play." He couldn't even look at me last night.

I just want to know how he can act like nothing ever happened. He made me believe everything he said. I truly believed that he loved me, but now I just feel like it was all a bunch of lies, especially if he can't even give me the time of day to say hi. I want to call him and explain how I feel, but that's pointless too. I just feel like I need to do something, but what...there's really nothing to do but move on. I thought I had until I saw him last night and it just kills me. I don't want to feel like he used me, but I can't help it when it showed me total disregard last night....I suppose none of it ever mattered to him.

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 1:17pm

Don't take it personally. I think he just feels bad and doesn't want to talk about it or have a confrontation.

But I do feel for you - what a thing to have happen so soon. HORRORS!! I would not like that either!!

HUGS!!

Remember - it is his loss. You will find the right person. And that right person will feel so lucky to have you!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 1:57pm

I can't imagine a chance meeting would go well this soon after a breakup.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 6:43pm
Well Kait who did the breaking up ? If you did maybe he is still hurting and feels that if he trys to talk you you it may cause a scene. Last thing two ex s want to have is a scene in front of their friends.
But yes he could have said hello how are you and so could have you. Remember it takes two to communicate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 9:20pm

He broke up with me after weeks of telling me he loved me and wanted a future with me. And it was completely out of the blue b/c I feel that there was no warning signs. The day before he dropped the "I'm not over my ex bomb," he told me he loved me and was kissing me, etc. So, ignoring me yesterday just makes me feel like everything he ever said was a lie. And I did try to talk to him. Everyone was in a group outside at one point and I joined in the conversation, even asked him a question for that matter, which he answered to my friend. So, I just feel like I was punched in the stomach.

But I guess it just doesn't matter. I was very friendly last night and acted like nothing was wrong. But...anyway...the whole thing is over and done with now, and I just have to move on, which I'm trying to do. I just don't like feeling used and discarded like I never mattered. I did things and said things with this person that I have never done before. He knew the position I was in when he got involved with me and proclaimed to be so honest and upfront and that I had nothing to worry about with him. I don't like letting down my guard b/c I don't want to be hurt, but I guess that's what we all have to do in order to see where things may or may not lead.

I don't know what I expected him to do last night. Maybe he felt just as uncomfortable as I did and he didn't know what to do either, but it still makes me just a little bit angry and hurt.

Thanks for the input though....just needed to vent my frustrations that I'm trying to overcome.

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 11:36pm

Kait,

Don't feel used, I'm sure that he DID mean those things when he SAID them, but then things changed. Sure, they changed rapidly, but when someone is scared they tend to jump with both feet without thinking. He could not be over his ex, or he could be scared at how quickly and easily things were going with you.

And as awkward as things were for you, he was probably feeling the same way when he saw you. Give it time before you try to talk about what has happened between you, it will come with time.

Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 7:12am
Kait,
We all do things differently when in a new relationship. I feel it is part of our nature as so not to lose this person in which we are now comfortable with. Men are a different kind of creature. We tend to try and show no emotion , but we are really dieing inside. Where as women show more emotion on the outside . This is just my observation.
But Kait you did the right thing by trying to talk to him. Him putting you off only shows you are the better person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 8:09am
Oh wow - you are giving us all the inside secrets!! :-)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 5:51pm

Please thats no secret. Men and women know we are stuborn.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2005
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 8:04pm

Man, to run into him like that, and have him act like that! I know it sounds easy for me to say, but you are better off without him. Either he is acting like a jerk, or he really is a jerk, and either way, you don't need it. Just give yourself some time to get over it, and then find someone who is so much better. Hugs and good luck!

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2004
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 12:59am

Kait,


I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Stephanie, CL of the Dating as a Single Parent board: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-p