Wow, great therapy session tonight

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wow, great therapy session tonight
7
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 10:24pm

I was thinking the last week about ending therapy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 11:59pm

WOW Jen! That's pretty good insight! I had never thought of things that way, but that makes sense why we want to rush the intimate contact- I'm the same way! I did actually wait with J- he even stayed over a few times, and all we did was kiss and then go to sleep. Well, there was a lot of kissing... LOL! Normally I would go full steam ahead into the intimate relations, but with J I didn't feel I needed to. He is the first guy to actually ask me, while in the midst of kissing and stuff, how far I wanted to go at the time. I was floored, as I had never been asked before! (Normally just kept going, you know?)

Your therapist sounds like such a help for you. I'm glad that you share the insight you learn there here!

By the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2005
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 12:41am
Wow, that is great. I am the opposite. I am afraid of being intimate, because of being vulnerable. I am at the point in my relationship that it is time for the intimacy, I want it,but I am scared, of what I don't know. Guess I need to go back in to therapy! No joking aside, he is a nice guy and that too is unusal for me. I am having a hard time wondering if he is for real, but I believe he is. Great job with the insight, good for you for seeing it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 12:52am

That's interesting.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2005
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 1:13am
I like that "where there is no risk there is no reward." I too have abandonment issues and I am struggling with that. I am afraid of getting too close for fear of losing someone and I don't want to do that, but then again "nor risk, no reward". I really do have a nice guy in my life now and I am blown away by him, but not letting my guard down yet! And for what it's worth, take it slow before the intimacy, it makes it all the better when it happens, that is what I am hoping for anyways! LOL Remember, men see sex differently than us. Take care
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 8:14am

I am in the same boat! I have always had sex too early - and I think it is just because I was not educated on the matter and it felt good so I went with the flow and did not think about myself or my own needs.

I always get too attached too early and that heads the relationship off in the wrong direction in my opinion. I think you really lose the opportunity to discover each other as friends and see if you are really a match.

Now that we are dating later in life - and with all those issues - like does the guy really want a relationship or a booty call? and are we compatible? - stuff like that - I think it is so important to hold back and make sure you are getting everything you need before you become intimate.

BRAVO!! Your session further drives this important message home to all of us. You have a GREAT therapist!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 10:12am

Yes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 11:26am

THAT is so so true!!! And yes - that is not only an epiphany for you - but for ALL of us. Thanks so so much for sharing. I always learn something new on here every day. And I am so thankful!!

You really see the value in yourself. And there is a lot of value in you!!

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