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| Thu, 09-08-2005 - 11:37am |
Hello there. My name is Aracely and I am a 25 yr old single mom of two beautiful kids (5yr old girl, 2yr old boy). I live in Northern California and have been divorced for two yrs. Okay, enough for my intro.
I have been lurking around this board and it seems that you guys have a lot of my sasme concerns and worries.
I just ended something that was amazing with this man, but it's too long of a story to tell. But the grit of it was that he got scared. He is 31 never married and no children. At first, it was great, fireworks, love, the whole works, but once things started to get serious it became too real too fast. I'm heartbroken, and this isn't the first heartbreak in the past year. I just have come to realize and think (maybe foolish) that I will never get married again. I just am so scared of putting my heart out there AGAIN, for it not to work out.
Anyways, enough about me. I would love to here your stories in order for me to get an idea of who I will begin to know.
Aracely

Welcome, Aracely,
You have come to the right place and we are happy to have you.
There is an excellent discussion about relationships here:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlsolomother&msg=8448.1&ctx=0
Anyway, I think you have to get over this one and get to know yourself. A lot has happened to you in such a short time - to have 2 kids by 25 and a divorce to boot is quite tough. Give yourself time to heal. Get to a point where you life is GREAT without someone. And then you will meet the right person. Realize that you have to be friends first and both be on the same page for what you want from each other and from life. Realize that sex too soon is not a part of all of that.
Stay and post with us!!
HUGS!!
Welcome and glad you found us.
hello and welcome.
the women (and occasionally a few men) here are great and very inspiring.
i know that it is hard, but time will help you to heal. try to focus on the positive and good things will happen!!
hope you stay with us!
steph
Hi Aracely,
Welcome to the board. Yes, we know exactly the situation you are in. It's tough, but each day it will get a little easier. In the meantime, enjoy your life, and enjoy being with your kids, and someone will come along who will appreciate all of you. It's hard to learn to trust again, but when you do meet someone, know that they are not your ex, and don't hold them responsible for the mistakes your ex made.
Good luck, and please post more!
Kelly
Aracely,
I know it's hard to put your heart out there, and then to have it broken makes us want to hide away so we never face that pain again. But you know that in time you will have replaced all those broken pieces and your heart will be whole again and you will want to find someone to share it with. I'm sure you were unwilling to be out there after your marriage ended, but you eventuallly did, right?
Well, it's the same again, only this time you'll take the time to really know yourself and what you're looking for before you allow someone in again. Things take time, but to write off the idea or chance that you'll find someone else, or get married is a little much, don't you think? You're so young, you shouldn't throw in the towel and become an "old maid". It's just your pain talking that way, it's not reality. You need to step back and take some time to focus on you and your kids, build your life to be perfect without a man- so that he's a welcome addition, not the main attraction to your life.
I know it's old, but the saying, "you'll find what you're looking for when you stop looking" is very true!
Alison