Drunk Dialing - He's Such a Jerk
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| Mon, 09-12-2005 - 1:42pm |
Saturday afternoon I was feeling really upset b/c of the second email my ex bf had sent. So, I called him - knowing that I shouldn't but doing it anyway - and told him that it didn't hurt me that we weren't together, but that it hurt for him to act like I never mattered. I said what I had to say and ended it there.
Well...a little after 1:30am he calls me. Nevermind the fact that the phone ringing in the middle of the night scares me to death and could have woke up my dd! Anyway, he wants to know if I have my dd, so I tell him yes, and he says nevermind. I press the issue wanting to know why he called, so he tells me that he's drunk, laying in his yard and can't get into his house and wants me to come help him. He said that he went out with his mom, got drunk, she couldn't help him in b/c of her back, and figured he would call me "since I don't hate him." We get off the phone and I call one of our mutual friends who happens to be near his house at the time and she and her husband go help him. By this time he's called me back telling me that he's called one of his buddies who is going to come help him.
Anyway, my friend who got to his house calls me after she and her husband get there telling me how drunk he is and that he keeps talking about me. She said to prepare myself b/c he said that he was going to call me again.
Not 10 mins later he calls again, crying, throwing up, and telling me how sorry he is for how he treated me. He tells me that he misses me and wants to see me and talk to me. He then proceeds to cry about how much he hurts about his ex wife, etc. We end up talking for a while, and by the end of the conversation he begs me to come see him the next evening. He said that he had something very important to tell me and that he had to tell me in person.
Well...being the person that I am, I call him the next day to see if he's okay and if he still wants to talk. He says no - flat out. Then he says, I called you last night, right? I was like - um, yeah, three times! He says, "oh, I was really drunk." We ended the conversation, and he's just a jerk.
Why would he drunk dial me, say all this stuff, and then be so mean? I know my life is better without him in it, but what gives him the right to treat me like this? Who does he think he is? I'm a very giving person by nature, and I really take things hard when they don't work out. I let myself get wrapped up in things quickly, which I know I shouldn't do, but I feel like now he's just playing with me. He knows that I have a date with someone this weekend (a friendly kinda thing - just a friend) but he got so irrate with it. It's like he doesn't want me but he doesn't want me to go out with anyone else either. He's just a jerk and I don't know why I'm letting him make me feel bad.
Kait

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Everyone has the right to treat you however they want to treat you.
Kait,
A bigger question than why would he dial you all drunk is why you would answer the phone. I agree with Jenny - you do not have control over what HE does but you do have control over what YOU do.
It is a sad thing when you feel a connection and want someone but they do not or cannot give it back. I do think this is clearly the case and you have to move on. Maybe he did have feelings for you but he is clearly not over his exwife and is not able to give you what you want and deserve. Hopefully the good thing that comes out of this is that you can see this and not have any more hope and know you have to protect yourself and close the door.
From now on I would not speak any more with him. I really think you have to be firm with that. Sure, he might try, but after a few failed attempts he will give up.
I am sorry you have to go through this drama. I know you don't deserve it.
HUGS!!
You broke up he treated you lioke dirt afterward get on with your life and realize that you are better than them and DESERVE much better.
Here I sit wondering if I could find a girlfriend even in an old folks home LOL and you two date jack***es.
Ladies the 1st time a boyfriend treats you bad or you break up you should show him the curb. When you have kids you have enough drama in your life .
I dont want you to think I am bashing you two but trying to let you know you deserve better.
Okay...first, the phone rang in the middle night and I didn't look to see who it was, I just answered it. Okay - so I kept answering when he kept calling, oh well...lol.
I know that I deserve better, I just need to vent! Furthermore, I can't help it if something inside of me always wants to help people and try to make them feel better if they're down. I know this is guy is a jerk - I don't want him anymore. I am moving on, but I still can't help but feel bad and let down, especially when I thought he was so much more than he actually is. He just played me for a fool, I know that!
So, I value you input and everyone else's! Your's was just a little more "rough around the edges" so to speak...lol!
Thanks,
Kait
I think he is just a very frustrated person right now and you got caught in the line of fire. I don't think you should communicate with him any more or take any of this personally.
The bright side is that you have learned a lot of lessons - and so have we from reading your stories. You are very strong now and this will help you do very good on your next one!!
I am the person who is direct and to the point but also I am really a kind person. I read these posts and cant believe the jerks that are really out there.
I do realize you are a kind person and want to help someone when they are down BUT they know that and use it to their advantage.
Maybe I just dont want to see you being a victim which you are in this case and dont realize it.
Ah, the ramblings of a drunk man, gotta love it!
You need to leave this one alone so you stop working yourself up over it. You started it by calling him up to *have your say* over being ignored at the party, why?? Why not just let things be and forget he exists? And now you're angrier because he called you in the middle of the night, but not to profess his love, but to get you to pick his drunk butt of the lawn. I'm sure he would've tried to get you to hold his head while he puked and then wanted to sleep with you- ew!
Now you're all disappointed because all the things he said he's discounting them, but really, why should you care? He is not the guy for you and the more you allow yourself to get upset, the harder it will be to just let it go and move on. By being angry with him, you're keeping him front and centre in your thoughts.
And the next time he calls you at some unforsaken time in the night, I suggest you say to him, "I have a child sleeping in the other room, please do not call at this hour" and then hang up, and unplug the phone so it doesn't ring again and wake anyone up. It's not your responsibility to be there for him, not up to you to call someone to get his drunk butt off the lawn. If you see him at some party, politely acknowledge him and move on. You do not owe anything to this man, nor does he owe anything to you.
Alison
He wasn't harrasing me at the point I spoke with him, I answered his call to see what the heck he wanted after no contact for over two months.
No, my intention is to CEASE all communication, for some reason I just had to proactive to achieve that goal.
That is good Jennie. It is good you can see he was just in a bad place and not take it personally. It seems like you had it twice as hard as you should have - to make a decision not to be strung along when you really wanted a different outcome - and then to battle off the offensive after going through all of that pain. Dating can be such a pain!! But we all have to remember that we only have to find one right person.
I have had a few more interested guys with the online thing - but they have been rejected after the email. One because he lives kind of far and he was sarcastic and the other because of his picture and controlling comments and questions. Oh dear!!
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