Stupid question

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Stupid question
5
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 1:14pm
It has been a good four years since I have in the dating scene :-P So this all new to me and aI am relearning, but what is the procedure for asking a guy to do something with you after the sixth date? I feel like a schoolgirl, we are both Christians, and he pretty much lives by the bibles version of realtionship. Our dates have been 3 dates with him and I, three full days of spending time with my daughter and I. We just spent yesterday togeather, so would it be too soon to ask him out on the weekend to do something? Or should I just wait for him to contact me. He sent me a little email yesterday saying he had a great time and he made it home.... SOrry I am being a digbat


Edited 9/13/2005 2:11 pm ET ET by savagefreedom
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 1:31pm

My concern would be why you are not dating him yourself alone, why your dd is involved in the dating so early in the game.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 2:47pm
I would keep your daughter out of things at this point. I wouldn't ask him out. That's just me. I make the guy ask me out until he asks me to be his girlfriend. It's just better that way. He feels like he "wins" if he has to do all the asking and you finally agree to be his girl. If he never gets to that point, then he is not interested enough in you to make his move or he is so socially backwards that you'd be better off without him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 3:37pm

Hi and welcome!!

You have great advice so far and I agree!! I would not involve my child in dating in the early phase. And I would wait for the guy to call.

Hugs and best wishes!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2005
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 7:15pm
After six dates, I think it should be fine for you to do the asking. Of course, you should also be prepared to pay since he will be your guest. I also have concerns about getting your daughter involved in the relationship, but I don't know the whole story. Just be careful, because I can tell you from experience, that children can become very attached in a very short period of time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2005
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 7:56pm

I like what the other women have to say and agree that it isin't a good idea to have the child/children be around while you are on a date. I only say this from a very recent experience of my own. My son is 2 and I had a boyfriend for a few months. I don't like the idea of leaving my child with baby sitters and hate to ask my parents to watch my son while I'm out having fun so I would have my boyfriend come over and we would all play together. Now that my boyfriend and I broke up my son always asks for my ex and I always feel really bad. If I had it to do all over again I would have waited and kept the encounters with my boyfriend in front of my son unaffectionate and just really simple and friendly.
One other thing is that I do not believe a man should have to do all the asking out if you are interested. I hate games and I think real men hate them too. If you really are interested let him know you are. If I had to start all over with my ex boyfriend I wouldn't have acted as completly interested as I did. I changed too much of my life around to be with that guy and I think he would have appreciated it more if I wasn't so available all the time. Guys/men do like to feel like they one a prize, I agree with that, but do not play games or he will think you aren't intersted.