He says he will call?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2005
He says he will call?
6
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 11:34pm
Hypothetical question: If a guy (40 y.o.) says he is going to call you, and then doesn't , is it possible he forgot? LOL, I don't know, I have been seeing this man for the past month and a half speaking to him once or twice a week and seeing him every other weekend because of kid schedules, etc. He is divorced, I am going through a divorce. And, he tells me last week he will call on a certain day and help me with my sons bike and then, ta do, nothing, no call nothing! Everything had been going fine,I thought. I am afraid of calling him and being too forward to find out he was just too busy with his work, friends, family, etc and he forgot? I know he had plans this weekend with an old college friend and his business is demanding but I don't want to think he is blowing me off? Could it all have been a misunderstanding? What should I do, I haven't spoke to him since Wednesday when he offered to help and then said he would call on thursday and I still haven't heard from him. I thought about emailing, but should I just wait? HELP, I really like him and thought he felt the same way, what should I do, call, email or wait? Thanks for listening!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2005
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 8:22am
I am in pretty much the same situation. I would call him, the first time, and don't be accusing or anything, just saying hi since you hadn't heard from him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2005
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 12:17pm
Hi Kelly,
So do you really think I should call? I am getting lots of different advice, and I think that if he really wants to talk to me he will call, eventually. I am now wondering if there was a misunderstanding because this is so out of character for him. I thought I would wait until next Wednesday but who knows, I am going back and forth between being p***** off and then sad, boo hoo, LOL, because I really, really like him. I thought he felt the same way. I have to tell you, this is making me think I should have waited until my divorce was over before I started dating. I thought I was ready but now I don't want to have to deal with another set of issues. I am trying to get my divorced settled and avoid going to court in two weeks. Wish me luck and let me know how it goes in your situation. I will keep you informed too. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 2:04pm

No. You shouldn't call him. At this early stage in the relationship you should not pursue him. You should also not get too attached. Keep it casual. See his intentions.

If he is that into you and wants to see you he will make an effort and call. If he is not then he is just dabbling his toe in the water, so to speak. And in that case you should say next and find the person who will call.

If you are going through a divorce, you should put your attention, effort and focus on getting through that quickly and then recovering and putting your life back together. I think you have to get to a point where you are okay alone before you can make a good decision.

I hope I have helped you - whatever you decide is cool - you have to make the best choice for you. We are always here - and maybe the others will also have good advice.

Welcome to our board - stay and post with us!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 2:22pm

Here is a copy of a post from another board - it is a comment regarding the book "Mars and Venus on a Date" by John Gray - I highly recommend it.

Anyway, this poster was saying she likes that book and here is how she sees the roles of the man and woman when dating:

"Brother Lucid pursued me, in a gentlemanly fashion. I responded, in a ladylike fashion. His job was to move the relationship forward, as he felt inspired. Mine was to respond, or not, as I felt inspired. His intentions were honorable, and serious. So were mine. We were honest with one another. And if that honesty hadn't brought to light two items that were deal breakers for me, and one that was a potential deal breaker for him, we would still be pursuing our chaste and stately minuet toward the Good Ship Matrimony."

I hope this helps.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 7:52pm

I wouldn't call. I have been through the same thing you are going through now. Many times over. Though each situation is different, I always made excuses on why they didn't call. If he wants to talk, he will call. The end. He could just be busy, or just forgot, or even is not interested...but let him call to tell you. If he doesn't ever call, then that's your answer. It's unfortunate we can't all be adults and do what we say we'll do.
let us know what happens..

Shannon

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 9:58am

I would not call him. He decided that he didn't want to come over fix your kid's bike. He didn't think enough of you to call and cancel. He just weasled out of it by not calling.

I would concentrate on your divorce and not try and contact this guy.