How do you meet single dads ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
How do you meet single dads ?
5
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 3:52pm
First of all let me state that I think you ladies are all awesome ! I was really touched by your show of loving support, that's what prompted me to write. I have been divorced 9 years and have broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years almost 2 years ago, so I decided to try my luck again at the world of dating (I take a very long time to heal & go back out there). I work long hours in and out the home, I have no friends to go out with and socialize with. I've tried to make new friends, but people just aren't interested(they say they don't have time to make new friends and are too busy). So I signed up with several web sites, some for single parents, some general. My experiences have been awful ! So many men lie, play games, jerk you around and overall just waste your time. I was corresponding with one guy that sounded hopeful, I told him the truth that I had been married twice, never heard from him again ! Another asked me out for a date, again I tell the truth, that I don't have a car, but offered to take a bus and meet him halfway(he has a car), never heard form him again either! I could go on and on with examples like these.
I know it's against dating rules to reveal too much up front, but I would rather find out right away if he's judgemental, a jerk; etc. I think it would be worse to hold back, start to really like someone, and then find out that latter. I have become almost too good at weeding out the jerks, but the problem is there's no one left ! I will not lower my standards one iota, I'm a really nice person, who has worked really hard to educate herself, raise her children, get her herself together though therapy, perserverance;etc.
I will not settle for anyone who is not a really great guy, it's no less than what I and all you great ladies deserve! So my point is, if online dating is going nowhere, I have no friends to make introductions, A guy would have to run me over to meet me either on the way to work and back to meet me. What other way is there ? Oh and don't get me started on the discrimination I face because I'm a rubenesque lady, I will not loose one ounce for anybody ! I'm an ocassional,part time, plus size model, who is fit, healthy, athletic and loves her body. The only reason why I brought it up is because some jerk (a guy) said that if I lost 20 to 30 pounds that it would bring the men running my way. (yay right). Thanks for letting me vent, any feedback is appreciated.
The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 7:14pm

You can't take it personally if you get your info out there and a guy bolts. You don't have a car and you've been married 2x. Those are facts. You don't have to go into details about why the marriages broke up or why you don't have a car, but you can get the facts out there.

The weight thing, is really a non-issue. If you were a bean pole, the guy who told you need to lost 20 lbs would have found something else that you needed to change. Some people just like to find fault with other people.

I would suggest that you keep on doing what you're doing and try to make female friends too. If you had a girlfriend, the two of you could go out together and be seen. Being seen is half the battle in meeting new people.

Since being a single mom, I've resorted to online dating. That's how I met my SO and we've been together almost a year now. We live in the same town, travelled in the same circles, but would not have met each other if it wasn't for the internet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 7:53pm

Hi there and welcome,

I think that you have to work harder on getting a social life - join a church, special interest group or class. Anything that you enjoy to get you out and find people with common interests.

If you are having a good life and getting out there you will meet someone who really appreciates you just the way you are as a person.

I hope this helps. Good luck and keep us posted.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 10:49pm

Other than online, the only place I've seen single dad's is at the park.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 7:27pm

Thanks for all your advice and suggestions. I used to do quite a bit of volunteer work before, I don't know how, but I think I'm going to give it a whirl again. I also need a year for my MBA, so I'll be pursuing that also. Hey, I have a full life. I'll keep trying to make girlfriends ( I really miss those, it's just so hard because, women are so busy)
:-). I look at it this way, if I meet someone great, If not great too. I was feeling down yesterday, but I've put it all into perspective now.

You ladies are great ! Like the park suggestion, think I'll try that one :-)

The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Tue, 09-27-2005 - 10:37pm

You meet them where you find singles women. Everywhere and anywhere.
Your at the supermarket ask that guy to reach up and get that box down for you.
Your kids afterschool actitivies. Do stay at a game stay durning pratice also . You will see many parents there. How about adult ed classes or adult ed sports that are co-ed.
When doing chores around the house out front , take your time and be seen by others. You never know who you can start talking with. take a walk for exersise be friendly. \
Most of all make friends with both male and females because you can go out with a group of women and have some fun and meet some men.

good luck