What's your most embarrasing date?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
What's your most embarrasing date?
12
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 2:18pm

I'm sure we've all had one, so dish it out!



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 5:25pm
I am thinking on this one. I haven't really had any embarassing dates - but definitely some bad ones.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 6:40pm

Well, bad ones work too!


I never really *dated* guys, so I can't think of anything embarrassing...


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 11:48am

I was dating a guy who didn't really get along with my best friend. So one night, we all gave in to be nice to each other and go out to dinner. He had NEVER met her boyfriend before and it was just the 4 of us. The night seemed to be going smoothly though a little tense (he was not a very good person with conversation) and right in the middle of my friend's boyfriend and I having a discussion about football, my guy farts.... loudly.... instead of ignoring the whole situation he says, oh excuse me and laughs loudly. I was trying to crawl under the table, my best friend just sat there with her mouth hanging open and her boyfriend was completely appalled. It's one thing to do that in private but in front of a person you've never MET before?????

I was completely mortified and never to this day have been able to convince him that what he did was completely inappropriate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 5:28pm

I think I can top just about anyone, and unfortunately I was the one who was embarrassed. This was definitely, even to this day, my most embarrassing moment. The story needs a little set up. I met my exh when I was 18, and had never slept with anyone besides him. Counting dating and marriage, we were together 15 years. I was dating this guy for about 2 months, and he was the first man that I dated since my ex-h left, which was two years before this time. We were going out to dinner, then meeting my friend who was visiting from Florida at a bar for drinks. Up to this point in our relationship, we had not had sex yet, but getting very close. My kids were at their dad's house, and we had the house all to ourselves. I was very nervous, and I had convinced myself, in my head, that if he wanted to have sex, I wouldn't remember how to do it because it had been so long and my ex was the only one I was ever with. So, what did I do to calm my nerves -- drink. I had a drink at my house before we left, I had wine with dinner, and I had a couple cocktails at the bar with my friends. We got back to my house and we had more drinks. We ended up in bed, and right when this guy was going to make his move, I got dizzy and suddenly didn't feel good. I bolted out of bed with nothing on to try to make it to the bathroom, but I didn't make it. I threw up all over my kitchen floor, and I slipped in it trying to get up. He helped me up and I went to the bathroom, where I ended up spending the rest of the night. After he cleaned up the kitchen, he slept in my bed alone. I thought for sure I was never going to see him again. Much to my surprise, he left in the morning and came back later in the afternoon to go to a family party with me. When we were at this party, we were eating dinner, I had my elbows on the table, and I had bruises on my arms from where I fell. My sister asked me what happened, and me and this guy just smiled at each other. We were together for 2 years after that.

No one knows this story except you guys -- too embarrassed to tell anyone.

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 11:11pm

Awwww, but Donna, that's so sweet in a gross kinda way...

Alison, mom to Nicolas


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 6:45am
Oh my Donna - that is sure funny now!! It almost sounds like it should be a part in a movie!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 11:16am

Judy:

I sometimes think my whole life should be in a movie, or a book. So many bizarre things have happened to me. I don't tell most people stuff like that, because they would think I was making it up (too strange to be true) or that I was insane. But I am among friends here. That experience did teach me a lesson, though -- to have confidence in myself and my abilities, and don't ever drink too much! BTW, the guy in the story, he was the one who left me and married my little sister. See, I told you, very bizarre!

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 6:34pm

I was thinking that was the one that went with your sister. I thought of the commercial, "I'll have what she is having!" - That is probably what she said when she saw the bruises and the smirk on your face - I know - bad joke - but it seems that she got what she deserves.

And yes, you did learn valuable lessons. I think you are going to do better this time around. Have you had any luck on the online sites?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 2:27pm

Judy:

God, I hope I do better. This guy is an alcoholic and is now unemployed! Like my other sisters always told me, she may have "won", but look at the prize she got. It can be a little hard for me when I have to see them at family gatherings, but as time goes by, it gets easier. The immature side of me wishes that I could show up to one of those family gatherings with a gorgeous, rich man on my arm. That certainly would cause a stir!

As far as the on-line dating goes, no luck so far. I'm registered at E-Harmony, and that process is so slow. I get lots of matches, but unfortunately, some of the matches never even answer the first set of questions. There are 4 stages; three sets of questions, and the last being open communication (e-mailing each other). When I first posted about registering on E-Harmony, and I got a lot of negative feedback, I was surprised. Now, everything everyone has said is coming true. I have gotten to the e-mail stage with a few guys, but like everyone said, a few e-mails and they disappear. I don't know if it was something I wrote, or they just don't want to be bothered. Either way, I just keep plugging along and doing what I'm supposed to do. I answer the questions that are sent to me and start communication with all the matches they send to me. That's all I can do. I can't control what other people do. What I don't understand is you would think that someone who paid money to be on the service, and went through the process of filing out the questionnaire (which took me over 30 minutes to do), you would think they would follow through with answering the questions; or if they go through the 3 stages of questions, you would think they would be able to send a hello e-mail. Oh well, what are you gonna do?

I mentioned to my counselor on Monday that I was doing on-line dating. I thought she would hate the idea, but she didn't. She said as long as I don't let it make me crazy, it's ok, and it can be a good way to weed out people that aren't right for me. The important thing that she said was that in between doing the on-line dating, that I just live my life, and do the things I have been doing. What she meant by that was that since Mark and I split up, I have been making "dates" for all my free weekends with friends. I can't say that I'm lonely. Last weekend was the first weekend in months that I stayed home, but it was what I wanted to do so that I could do things around my house. I really thought that my free weekends would be hard because for the past 8 months, I had an automatic date on Friday and Saturday nights. But, I became pro-active, and decided that if I didn't make plans for myself, I would be sitting at home feeling sorry for myself. So, really, this time alone has been ok. She said in between the on-line thing and just being out there, who knows, maybe I will get lucky. I don't put too much stock in the on-line thing, but I'll keep trying.

I find it a little hard for me to not be judgmental or closed minded. You are supposed to have an open mind with every match they send you. Ironically, I have e-mailed the most with a type of guy that I said I wouldn't date any more. He's 42, never been married, and has no kids. Yeesh - didn't I just do that -- and a total of 3 times! It's really not what I am looking for, but I figure, there's no harm in a few e-mails. I have a phobia about younger men, also. But I know you have told me in the past to keep an open mind where this is concerned. So far, I respond even to the matches that are younger than me. I did delete one, though. He was 35, never married, was the singer in a Christian rock band, and he admitted that he hadn't dated very much in his lifetime. I'm almost 40 -- Good God, this is not private lessons! Sorry, I just can't do that! Delete! LOL. There were 2 guys that I really felt had potential (and they have kids), but after a couple of e-mails, they stopped e-mailing. I don't want to appear desperate, so I figured I would just forget about them. If they were interested, they would e-mail me back.

So, I trudge on. Maybe some day I'll get lucky.

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 8:02pm

Hi Donna,

I love your letter/update. Your last paragraph really and truly had me laughing out loud - the part about the private lessons!! That is so hilarious!!!!!!!!!! You are funny. I am glad that you are keeping an open mind and getting out there.

The online dating thing can really tend to get on my nerves - sometimes I have to close my profile - which is what I just did recently. I think a lot of guys on there are just looking for sex or they dabble when they get lonely or something - which is probably the case with the single dads. You can't take it personally, that is for sure. It is something to do on the side.

It is good that you are able to fill your single weekends. Those days can be hard that is for sure.

Right now I am in the most peaceful stage of my life. Somehow I have let go the feeling that I really want to get married and have more children. It is not that I don't want to do that - because with the right person it is really ideal and I would like that. I think it is just that I have come to grips with being alone and realizing I might never find the right one for me or it might take so much more time that kids are not an option and I am okay with it.

I have really had a good year of doing a lot of stuff for just me. Stuff you might not get to do if you had a husband - like getting all of my teeth fixed - silver fillings changed to white and bleaching them. I am redoing my kitchen - kind of on a whim - and we are getting a pool. It is a good investment for my house. I have been able to design everything myself and find good bargains including a lot of stuff on ebay.

I am living my life for me and I don't care if I meet someone or not.

Maybe being on these boards so long has helped - I realize that prince charming types are far and few between, especially in our age range - and I don't want any more drama. Additionally I know what I need and that is not easy to find.

I am actually contemplating getting a dog!! When I first got divorced our dog was way too much of a handful for me - an alpha dog that took over the whole house and would chew things and make a big mess and was impossible to train. So I found a good home for her where she could be the only child and get lots of attention. I have avoided having another because of the mess and the fact that they tie you down and I always thought it would make meeting someone that much harder. Now my son is older and I think I want that for him - to have a dog as a boy growing up.

We have discovered a hybrid - it won't shed and is mellow and very cute. So I will see. I told DS that he has to up the degree of maturity and responsiblity to get one. He was so happy that I would even consider it.

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