It's not even my kid?!?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2006
It's not even my kid?!?!
5
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 4:47pm
I was friends with a guy before I started dating him - he knew I had a kid. Most guys will always insist that they don't have a problem with it. They get along fine - they seem to like each other. But here's the thing - I have known him for over a year, we have been dating for about 6 months. The other day we went out, and my kid has a musical toy and she was singing and dancing with other kids. Well the guy I am dating, says to the dad of the other kids, "Man, I hate that toy and it's not even my kid." I was pretty floored at that comment and didn't know what to say. I plan on saying something to him but would like some advice/comments/anything. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 5:57pm

My take on that was that it was a comment that was negative on the toy, not on your child. I had to read it a couple of times and put myself in his spot to figure out what he probably meant, and I don't think he meant anything bad by it.

I think it was a situation where there was SOMETHING about that musical toy that grated on him. I know you moms here must know about this- you have GOT to have had some toy that your kids have had that just aggravated you/annoyed you because of its sound, or volume, or repetitiveness, or something... and you wished that maybe it might disappear overnight. Because you LIVED with that toy day in-day out, living with it. Living with your child, PLAYING with that dratted toy, day in, day out.... (get the picture?) But it wasn't your kid that grated on you, it was the noise of that toy.

Anyway, So I think his comment was that the toy was THAT aggravating to him, that he didn't even have to live with the toy, hearing it day in/day out to hate it. He was spending only a short time with your child (and that dratted toy) and he was tired of it (the toy).

I seriously don't think he has any problem with your child, nor is he wanting no part of being in your child's life. I seriously think it's the toy that is on his sh!t list. I know I love my kids, but I seriously have had some of their TOYS on my sh!t list too. lol

I think that is all that is. If you talk with him and find out different, then let him go.

~shrimpy, dishing out 2 cents like pizza today

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2006
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 6:12pm
I totally agree with certain toys being aggravating. It's also very easy to make the worst of any situation sometimes (especially when you're insecure about being a younger single parent). To me it almost came across, as my kid was being loud and obnoxious and it seemed as though he may have wanted to point out that, "Hey, the kids not mine so if that toy is getting on your nerves don't blame me." That could very well be me overreacting. I know he is never purposely a jerk and has never said anything like that before. I guess it kind of hurt my feelings - because I took it the wrong way. I am sure that I am not alone in thinking that being a single parent that no one would want that responsibility. Especially, since I am 25 and most people my age are going out and doing whatever they want - and I am past that stage in my life. I end up thinking that he will get tired of me not being able to do the things he can do - like going out w/ friends. I tend to overanalyze things and I know I should stop trying to overprotect myself from getting hurt. Ok, I am rambling. Thanks :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 09-18-2006 - 11:14pm

"I end up thinking that he will get tired of me not being able to do the things he can do - like going out w/ friends."


Who said you can't do those things?




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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2006
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 9:20am
There are a lot of things I can do, but when things come up that aren't "kid-friendly". But I guess you're right - I am the one restricting myself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 9:56am

That's why you should set up a regular sitter, a friend or family member, who will watch your daughter at least once a month- even for a few hours.


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