Your thoughts please

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
Your thoughts please
6
Mon, 09-25-2006 - 10:15pm

I went on a date with a man I have not seen in a number of years. He had said some unkind things about my dance instructor.. the fact that she has a big belly and belly dances. I had to explain to him that belly dancing is not about sex, but had its origins in childbirthing. I say this to set the stage so that you can see why I was surprised when I saw him after a few years. He told me he likes women who take care of themselves and that he works out at the gym, he has lost lots of weight. I told him I can appreciate someone who takes care of themselves but that women who have had kids or even a kid have some curves. He said after a woman has kids it doesn't take long to lose that belly, but women should not walking around with pot bellys. I told him that I hoped he lived up to the model he set for others. He said he works out a lot and he did live up to what he expected from a woman. He said he really wanted to see me. Despite not answering his calls for awhile, I finally agreed to meet up with him. So I met up with him a few days ago. When I saw him I was shocked. He was very big (size 52 in mens suit). He belly was hanging out over his pants. He made fun of my teacher but he had a huge potbelly.. heck a oven belly. He looked like the pillsbury dough boy. This would not have bothered me except that he made such a big deal over looks, etc. I have always wanted to tell him to stop telling people he is 5'10 because he is 5'6. His hair was racing to the back (receding hairline). His face was so big, with lots of droopy kind of skin. So he greets me with a giant bear hug. I tell him it's beena long time since I've seen him. We start talking. He shows me his new car (a luxury car he purchased but yet laments the fact that he wishes he had his own apartment.. lives with mother.. although he says his mother lives with him). He asks me where do I want to eat and I say "Cheescake Factory" he said it's probably closed. So we go to Denny's. I let him open the door, etc. We have a long talk. He says its great to see me after so long. Anyway to make a long story short, after dinnner he's driving me back to my car. He reaches over and gives me a long searching kiss. He keeps kissing me. I pull away and tell him that he has a long drive ahead of him and that I should really let him go now. He tells me how aroused he is and lets me see the bulge in his pants. He tells me that I have shown an amazing amount of restraint. I guess he thought I would be all over him. He tells me he really wants to perform a very intimate act on me. In any event, I leave. I spent the weekend taking my daughter and her friends to Build A Bear for her birthday. This morning whenI checked my email there was a long email from him. In his email he said he was angry that I didn't offer to help pay for dinner. He said that most women would have reached for their purse but that I just sat there. He said he was also angry that I sat in the car like a princess and waited for him to open the door. He said he can't believe I expected him to open the restaurant door for me. I was surprised.. very surprised that this would piss him off so. He also said that he was not blown away by me. THat he wants a relationship with a woman who physically blows him away. I responded by telling him that when a man asks a woman on a date that he should pick up the tab. I told him I could see if were in a relationship where I could see couples going dutch from time to time. BUt I reminded him that he asked me out. I told him most gentlemen would not have mentioned it. I also told him that I am a lady and that there is nothing wrong with letting a man open doors for me. That it's not a princess act to like a man who is a gentleman. I told him that a gentleman would not have been offended. I told him that I was not blow away by him as well and I also reminded him that was why I ended the evening with "you have a long drive ahead of you.. so perhaps you should get going". I also asked him if he was not attracted to me why was he trying to kiss all over me and telling me how aroused he was, showing me the bulge in his pants. I asked him was he in the habit of asking a woman (excuse me guys I didn't want to get this graphic but I want you all to get the entire story) could he go down on her if he was not attracted to her? He responded by saying he was just in the moment. I already have concluded that this is someone I won't go out with again. Oh by the way he later emailed me saying he still wants to be friends.

Your thoughts please.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 09-25-2006 - 11:59pm

My thought is why are you wasting your time and energy even typing a post about this guy? He is obviously a loser in every sense of the word and he doesn't deserve your brain energy. Do not respond back. This person is not deserving of your time at all. As a "friend," he would only criticize you and everyone else around you, thus bring you way down.

I feel bad that you spent the evening with him. Yuck.

Jennifer

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 12:06am

UGH!!!


I ABSOLUTELY think you did the right thing.


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 6:59am

Before I even got to the part of your post where you talked about him emailing you, I was thinking "NEXT!!!!" This guy gives men a bad name.
He couldn't get in your pants, so obviously the problem lies with you.
You didn't trip over yourself trying to get into his, so obviously you're a princess.
He now feels as if he wasted his money on dinner, and since he got the vibe that you were unimpressed (for good reason, I might add) he's angry about it.
Instead of just writing it off as most people would do, he has to find some sort of retaliation. Smart enough to realize you'll not see him again, he emails you. Clever.
As far as being friends- my friends, male or female, wouldn't pressure me to do ANYTHING I didn't want to do. They wouldn't email me later saying that they were angry about whatever- and if one of them invited me out, they'd pick up the tab without hesitation, and without expecting anything in return.
Not the kind of person you need in your life, in any shape or form.

Moody- who had to read this several times, trying to find the good in it.... hmmm. How did your food taste? Your post leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, that's for sure!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 09-26-2006 - 4:43pm

I agree with Moody and the others - NEXT!

This guy is a loser - he obviously hasn't grown up and thinks he should get everything easy and that the world owes him something.

I would not have ANY contact with him whatsoever - he is not even worth a breath of air.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 1:16am
Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond. I really appreciated your feedback.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2006
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 7:33pm
The first thoughts on this guy are RUN! RUN VERY FAR AWAY! He sounds like a very large creep and it would be in your best interest to stay as far away from him as possible. I wouldn't even give him the satisfaction of E-mailing him...he will not change his ways and all the evil tongue lashings are not going to do a bit of good. Don't waste any more time on him whatsoever. Sorry that you had to endure a cretin!