I Got My Mind Set on You
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 10-05-2006 - 11:48pm |
It's gonna take time, a whole lot of precious time, it's gonna take patience and time to do it right child.
So. I have a crush. It's been sort of a long time since I've had a crush, and this one has lasted a while, so I'm thinking it might be time to actually do something about it. What to do, what to do? I feel like I have a few options. I could
A) do nothing and see if he eventually does something.
B) flirt and see if he takes the bait
C) ask him out for coffee or a drink sometime, casual-like
D) become his stalker (JUST Kidding!! mostly)
B is the easiest option. C would be faster, probably. I've never asked a guy out. I don't know for sure how to do it. I know the mechanics, of course, having been the askee before, but never having been the asker, I'm certain I'd screw it up. Quite possibly die from embarrassment and have to move to Siberia. Dead people can't move to Siberia, I know, but I would simply have to.
Maybe I could practice on someone I didn't like quite so much so I wasn't all tongue tied and flustered while doing the asking? If that went well, I'd have lost only a pleasant evening, and if it didn't go well, I'd have learned how not to ask a guy out.
Well, waddaya think, ladies, what should I do? And for all men- do you like to be asked out by a woman, or do you prefer to be the asker?
Moody- who's FINALLY feeling sparklies about a guy again!

I always like option B - or a new one to add to your list where you ask him to help you with something. That engages your company together and encourages him without actually asking him out.
Why don't you tell us more about him so we can help you brainstorm that?
This is fun!!
Here's a little about him- let's call him SSS. He's in his early 40's. He's the father of one son, who's 12. He lives near me, and works with a good friend of mine as the controller of a company. He likes the same kind of music I do, and plays the trumpet.
He's funny. Cute. Nice. Likes my kids. By all appearances likes me, but I'm not sure he likes me like that. I prefer to think so, since I'm not into second guessing myself.
I think I could potentially ask him for help with my school work, since he's an accountant,and I'm taking accounting, but I don't *really* need help with it, I'm acing the course. But, it would give us something to talk about.
Here's my dilemma- I don't see him a lot, and when I do, it's typically at family-oriented events, so our children are present. He may be where I'll be tonight, sans children, so there's a potential for adult conversation, and I'm going to try to get him to ask me out. It's been a while since I've done this anywhere but online, and I feel a little rusty. But, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?
Any advice will be considered!
Moody- still feeling the sparklies
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I hope I am not too late. Smile, make warm eye contact, and ask him questions about himself.
See what he does - if he is interested and ready he will pursue.
Thanks for the advice, ladies, but SSS was not where I was last night, so in the end, it didn't matter.
I'm trying to play it cool as far as getting him to ask me out goes, but I'm also at the point in my life where I'm tired of being reactive and want to be proactive, you know?
We're supposed to be modern, liberated women, we're supposed to be equal, and yet here I am, not able to ask a man out for coffee? What's up with that? Doesn't seem very equal or liberated to me!
Not to say that I don't like it when men ask me out- I definitely do, when they do it with style and class. I just feel like if I like a man, I should know how to ask him out. I want to be the confiedent girl that can do it.
Ah, well.
I'm also at the point in my life, and maybe it's a mood (I have enough of 'em!) where I want to be in a relationship. Being single is great- it really is. I like being single. I don't want to date indefinitely with no end in sight. I don't want to go on coutless first, second, or even third dates with no possibility for a future. I want to be in a relationship.
I'm not looking to settle, and I'm not assuming that I want to be in a relationship with SSS necessarily. But I do like what I know of him, and I want to get to know him better. So, why can't I work up the nerve to ask the man out, for crying out loud?! If a man can do it, it can't be that hard- right?
Ugh.
Moody- who's disgusted today, mostly with herself
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I know how you feel.
Don't despair, all you need is one fine prince charming aka MrRight to see you as MsRight and come after you. He will. It is only a matter of time!!
The thing is, when MrRight sees you as the one - you will know. Men have funny tastes and things that trip their triggers. But when they like someone, they really like 'em - and that is what brings on the "that into you" and "treating her like a queen" behavior.
Patience!!