New here, and ? on dating
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| Thu, 10-12-2006 - 3:49pm |
Hello - I'm new here - I used to check out iVillage when it first came online, but haven't been back in a while. Looks like a nice bunch of gals & some guys here.
I'm 32, have a 4 y/o DS, and been separate for over 8 months now. Altho I was married to DS's father for 7 yrs (together 9), we'd been in marriage counselling twice in 2 years. Thus, when it was nearly constant arguing, and started to become physical from him, I felt I'd given it a honest go, and left. I am primary custodian for our son, and he sees Daddy regularly, and talks to him 1-2x/day.
I only started even looking around at what the "market" is like in late July/Aug. I've been off the market for over 11 years (DS's father plus a previous long-term relationship). Thanks to the counselling I feel I know how I contributed to my marriage failing, and how I shorted myself while in it. I am happier (other than $ issues) than I've been in almost 8 yrs.
How can I go about meeting guys? Between being a mom, and having interests "outside the norm" such as SciFi, Role-Playing Games/D&D, motorcycles, and such, as well as current events, poker & pool, guys are all fired up until I try to engage their brains, rather than their macho-ism (riding up on a Harley does wonders for the intro, but I talk about things other than engine displacements). Then they seem to glaze over LOL. That is, if hearing I have a kid doesn't scare them off. I don't intend to introduce any man I might be romantic with to my son until I feel certain it's going somewhere (I have mostly guy friends, but they're mostly single themselves, and have been, so they aren't much good for introducing).
I've recently met a nice GA gentleman (he's a mature 25), who while hesitant about there being a child, hasn't said no way, and inquires about activities I mention doing with or involving my son. I'm looking, but it feels like may be worth exploring my GA Gent.
TYIA

Hello and welcome,
You sound comfortable in your own skin and have a set of fun and great interests. I think you should just keep being you and wait til the right one recognizes what a catch you are!!
Keep us posted about the GA gent. Sometimes it is a red flag when they aren't sure about the kids so you might want to hold your heart back a little until you confirm this.
Good luck!
I know some peeps that have done the internet thing, w/ varying degrees of success - I would like the link that worked for you.
Thanks for the welcome!
Thanks for the advice. I am hesitant to read too much into his interest. At least, he's had the maturity to realize this, early on. I had a GF years ago that did a LOT of dating, and never broached it until a while into the relationship - and then a guy of several months would go "NO thanks" and bug out.
While I don't intend to intro any likely romantic partner to my son til I know it's a pretty sure thing (several months), I also don't see the point of investing that much time & effort into something that then blows up in .5 seconds when my child is mentioned LOL. But I also acknowledge that not everyone wants insto-family - I was like that, when I first got w/ my ex-fiance (the 2yr relationship) - it took a little while for me to accept that he had a child, and where I might fit into that.
Heres the link www.plentyoffish.com
On Line Dating has really worked well for me.