Would You Believe In a Love At First

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Would You Believe In a Love At First
6
Thu, 10-12-2006 - 9:47pm

Sight Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time what do you see when you turn out the light, I can't tell you but I know that it's mine.... Do you need anybody, I just need someone to love, could it be anybody, I want somebody to love
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.

Ok. I know it isn't love at first sight. I've seen him a whole buncha times. And I work with him. I might as well just lay it all on the line now. And I probably don't actually love him. Yet. But I could. Maybe. He's so flippin' cute. And nice. And tall. That part and the cute part aren't all that important, really, but they're little factoids about him that I felt like sharing tonight. We'll call him Double D, just for kicks.

He doesn't work for my department, if that makes it any better. Here's a little background. Our company awards banquet was in July and we both went solo, which was the first time we spent any amount of time together. We ended up chatting and sitting together. He doesn't smoke, and at the time, I was having a relapse, and he escorted me outdoors during the banquet so I could smoke. How very gentlemanly. After that night, I didn't see him much, since we don't work in the same area, and I wasn't thinking too much about him, since I know better than to mix too much pleasure with business.

Then a couple of weeks ago, we started running into each other more and more. Purely coincidental, but he's very friendly, and very thoughtful. Asks about my children, asks about my schoolwork, asks about my workload, makes me laugh. Shares some personal info, but nothing too personal.

Today, I go into the breakroom, and there's Double D. He walks up to me, and asks me a work-related question, but it was rather obvious was making an excuse to talk to me, as anyone there could have answered it. How very sweet. So, during my lunch, we continue to chat, then when my lunch is over, he walks me back over to my office. It comes to light that he's done working for the day, and has been for some time. So, he waited for me to take my lunch so we could lunch together. Very nice.

Since he was so open, I decide to be just as open. I ask what his Halloween plans are. Turns out, he has none. I ask what his costume is. Turns out, he has none, but is open to suggestions. We parry a few back and forth- as his arm will be in a sling and he's very tall, I suggest big bird with a broken wing. We share a chuckle, but I have to get back to work. Tomorrow's his regular day off. The weekend I'm off. He's out next week, but we did both hint to getting together.

I didn't want to seem to forward, as I was at work, and technically working. He really comes off as incredibly sweet, and kind of shy. I'm thinking he would be wary of a sexual harassment claim, even though no one is anyone's supervisor... it's just neither of us was blatant, we are both just a little friendlier to each other than we are to anyone else. And then there was the hinting about getting together for Halloween.

Here's how it went: He's having surgery on Monday for a torn rotater cuff (sp), and will be out of work for three weeks. I asked him if he had plans for Halloween, and he said if all went well, he'd be back at work the day before, and I said, right, but what about the weekend before, that's when adults celebrate Halloween, you know. He said "Oh, no plans, it'll be the first weekend I've had off in a long time, and I'm sure I'll be feeling well enough to do something" I said "Got a costume?" We discussed our mutual lack of costume for a while, then I realized I was late getting back to work, and had to hurry back.

No official plans were made, no numbers were exchanged, and we probably won't see each other before then. What should I do, or should I do nothing? He has a mailbox at work, I could put my number in it, with a little note, something simple, maybe, like if you're bored while convalescing, give me a call, hope everything goes well, see you soon.

We're both taking classes, too, so that's something in common, and he's a skiier, and I've just purchased a season pass (before I found out he skiied)... I'm not sure I want to do that (the number in his mailbox), as it seems sort of junior highish- I'd have to be something of a sleuth about it since the place is a rumor mill, although everyone did see us having lunch together today. But now it may be my only chance at contact for the next three weeks, unless I make it a point to go in to work on the weekend. Not something I normally do, but I do sometimes work overtime.

Did I mention he was tall and cute and funny and sweet? Help me!!!!!

Moody- feeling the sparklies again!



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 11:42am

That is all very good.

But since it is work, you should wait for him to make the first move - don't rush it - I think he will!!

Most would say don't get your honey where you get your money - and that is a good piece of advice. But I am always one to bend the rules - and since you don't work together directly and no one supervises that is okay.

BUT BUT BUT - you have to go SLOW SLOW SLOW - you have to think about this. And let things develop slowly and learn more about him over time. Is he really single? Is he really that into you? Does he really want a relationship? What if it fails and you have to watch him date someone else - can you handle that (sounds like you could since you don't see each other so much)? And also - what is the work policy - would you be fired over this because that is not worth the risk? You find all this out over time slowly, except for the latter which is a more serious concern!

So my vote is no notes - only give him the digits when he asks. Let him make the first move. I would say he is thinking about it - and his surgery will provide a good time for him to reflect!!

How fun! I like what you write about him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 12:49pm

Sure sounds like there is alot of potential here! Great that you have many of the same interests that you can share if a relationship takes off!

I'm one for not looking for love at work, but if you know there is no company policy against it (no date is worth getting fired over, IMO!), and you know there won't be any interference in work productivity if the relationship takes off (as in long lunches together causing a problem). And if you know there wouldn't be a problem at work if you date and then break up- because some people end up in this game of throwing daggers at work after a break-up and it's not pretty... then maybe this work-started relationship can be a successful one!

I think I'm just a not-at-work girl because it complicates things sometimes. But if you think it can work out, then go for it!

BUT... that said... I think you should hang back and let him make the next move. Maybe you can leave him a "get well soon" card for his surgery, using intra-office mail or something. You know eventually he will get it and it's a nice gesture of friendship and caring, whether you end up dating or not. He does sound interested. And if he is interested now, he will still be interested after his surgery. In fact, if he is really-really interested, he might even find a reason to come back to work early "just to check on his mail" or whatever, before his surgical leave time is over- and "accidentally" run into you. But really... if he is interested, he will still be interested once he comes back. So I wouldn't push the phone-number-giving, or anything at this point.

Best of luck to you though!!! Sparklies are nice!

~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 4:52pm

Thanks to both of you, and a good night's sleep, I decided that leaving a note was not the best option.

There is no company policy against dating, excpet in the case of a superior-supervisee relationsip, which this wouldn't be. So, we're all okay on that front.

I have decided that leaving a "get mended soon" card wouldn't be unappropriate, and may do just that.

I do like to be the pursuee rather than the pursuer, and have decided that I wouldn't make a good pursuer anyhow, as I second guess myself far too much to be confident enough to ask a man out for something as simple as coffee, let alone a "real" date.

So, three weeks from Monday, barring any unforeseen complications with his surgery, Double D should be back at work. Hopefully he'll have had plenty of time to work out a plan to ask me out, right? And maybe, just maybe, he'll have come in before then to ask me out!

Well, if it isn't for that reason, that could be a nice side effect of his little visit!

Moody- who's sparklies are still twinkling, but slighly dimmer today


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 3:48pm

I think it's best to let him pursue.

About that surgery, a co-worker of mine had that same surgery. She had some complications from it. She was out of the office for longer than expected and she had to wear a sling for what seemed like forever. I say all of that to say that he might need extra time to get back into the swing of things. After the surgery, he might not be thinking about dating for a while.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 8:09pm

Hey Ms Sparklies!!

How was your weekend? And your first day back at work?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 9:41pm

My weekend was good. Work was fine. Not nearly as exciting going to work knowing Double D wasn't going to be there, haha, but I was a faithful little employee and very productive.

And, fivesense, the position he's in doesn't aloow him to work at all while he's still in the sling, but his doctor led him to believe that if there were no complications, he'd be back in three weeks. He's a fitness buff, actually, and I think he tore the rotator cuff during kickboxing or some such activity. He seemed pretty confident that with therapy and whatever other recommended mending, he'd be healed and back fairly quickly.

I'm hoping he is, since from a professional standpoint, it's a terrible time to have him out of work for an extended amount of time, although obviously I wouldn't want any coworker to be working while injured, and would hope that they would mend quickly and easily.

Moody- who is not good at following doctor's orders but also is luckily not prone to illness or injury


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