where to meet men?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
where to meet men?
8
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 10:40am
I'm a single mother with 2 children a 12 yr old and now a 7 wk old. I would like some suggestions on where to meet men, places I can take my children. Obviously the bar scene isn't working for me, and I need to meet GOOD men and I'm not having any luck. I live in a very rural area which is a major problem and work in a small office with 3 other women and not a place where I can really meet men, most of our work is over the phone. ANY suggestions?

Sarahjo

"A discussion is an exchange of intelligence, an argument is an exchange of ignorance."

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 11:57am

Sarah Jo,

There are a ton of great places to meet men. Have you asked around your older child's school to see if there are any single parent support groups? Or maybe if you have the time you could talk to the Family Teacher Org and see if you can start one. You don't want to meet random men and finding someone that's involved in their own child's education could be a good sign. Also, you never know who you could meet that would set you up on a blind date or introduce you to someone else.

Good Luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 12:02pm
I have found when you are ACTIVELY trying to meet men, it is harder than when you are not. That's why I suggest a hobby. The bowling alley worked great for me (ANYONE can bowl), or any other hobby that you find entertaining, and just go relax and have a good time - the men will come!
janethalloween.gif




iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 12:17pm
LOL... I just have to say this since you mentioned blind date.. one of my best friends just got married, her husband wanted to hook me up on a blind date, but it would be a couple of months... upon further investigating I discovered the reason for the wait - he's in PRISON (where her husband is a guard) and while he thinks he's a pretty nice guy, who has turned his life around, after seeing he was incarcerated for manufacturing meth! I politely declined (with a Hell NO!) So I'm a little hesitant to do the blind date thing. I'm still wondering what I ever did to her husband to make him consider this!

Sarahjo

"A discussion is an exchange of intelligence, an argument is an exchange of ignorance."

Avatar for jerbear18
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 7:56pm

Oh my gosh!!!! Stick to your guns, I have a friend who hires guy's for odd jobs for his business. He's suggested a couple guy's that are living at the local St.Vincent shelter and I just had to ask why would you think this is the kind of guy I should go out with?? Not thet it's great they are working on making their lives better, but why would a homeless person be someone I should go out with??

I guess after the amount of time I've spent in the convent, some think anything would be better that nothing. These type of set ups usually come from people who are in a long term relationship and think you need one too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 8:33pm

The bus! The library, the supermarket, the park...

I'm not sure location has as much to do with it so much as timing, being open to the possibilities, and patience. Lots and lots of patience.

Moody- who's still working on patience, but not as concerns men


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 9:46pm

Oh dear!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2006
Fri, 10-20-2006 - 11:43am

Aside from the other obvious places - i.e. the internet sites like CUPID and MATCH, I often just started talking to women in the grocery store. Mind-you, that I had to be careful to be sure there wasn't a guy hanging close to her and that she did not have a ring on.

If you can, like standing in line... you see he is single, start a conversation on what he is purchasing... I see you are buying "x" -- you know I made "y" with that a few months/weeks back. Start the conversation... Chances are that not many guys are really into cooking like I am - I love to cook - so giving them ideas - and talk about how fun it would be to make something with someone... HINT to him...

In the midst right before he is ready to leave, just ask him for his number or e-mail. Then wait a day, till he has made the meal and ask him if he tried your idea at all. Then say that you enjoyed the brief conversation and wondered since you are going to be at starbucks Saturday afternoon - after going to the library if he would like to join you. Be ready to bug out in two ways... one that he really is not that interesting and two you do not want to sound easy and too available that evening... that way there is mystery for both of you. If he is interested, he will already have asked you for his number - unless you called his cell or he has caller ID on his ph.

Meeting the opposite sex - outside of bars is not that difficult IF you are OPEN to just initiating a conversation w/ some one you do not know. I am always doing that. Although, with my job - and past jobs - I often am talking to people I do not know right away. When I taught college you are aways meeting new adults...

Go to the local college or extension - hit their library for reference material you "might" be looking for - if you are in that age bracket - which you would be. Note too, people w/ kids are not going to "hang" too much there - nevertheless, it is another place to meet.

Although some say churches - often people have the infurance that religion and dating do not mix because of pre-marital sex that is associated with dating - so they divide up dating from church activities. But that is up to you.

Hope I have provided a few ideas and approaches...

Happy Weekend Shopping!!

S

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 10-20-2006 - 12:28pm

Hi and welcome!!

I think you have to work more on expanding your social life and network than just looking for an SO. Everyone is important - friends can have other friends to introduce to you - it is a big long process.

The bonus is that when you have a lot of fun activities and friends then you will be in a better place in your life to make a better choice.

Surely there are hobbies, a church, kids activities you can do to bring you in contact with MORE people? Because I think it really is a numbers game - the more people you meet doing the things you enjoy - the more of a chance you have to meet someone.

You are smart to come here - I hope you stick around and participate in our posts because you can learn a LOT. And it is also great that you see that the bar scene is not working for you. Sorry to hear you have had disappointments. But we all have those and can take them and turn them into a lesson that brings us something much better.

Good luck!