SUCH a LOSER my X is ....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
SUCH a LOSER my X is ....
6
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 7:34pm

He was just on the phone w/ dd & they were arranging their next visit. I got on to confirm & he asked "Why doesnt she want to sleep over Tuesday?" & I said "B/c Regina (Ave's live-in nanny) has her 3 yr old little boy over Tues nite & she wants to see him, can she

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 7:58pm

What an idiot! To say the things he says in front of Ave... it's CRAZY! If only he would just follow through on that "threat" of never seeing her again. lol She needs a Daddy- but not one that is THAT immature, or one who says the stuff he says in front of her.

~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 8:00pm

Rebecca, I've been there, trust me! You're doing an amazing job with her. Just know that she'll respect you so much when she grows up for not speaking ill about him, and she'll figure it out on her own. My son is only (almost) eight, and is figuring it out all on his own already. I've never spoken a word against his father, but I've also never made excises for him, either.
He's already learning that he can't always count on his father to be there when he says he will, and I overheard Droid telling his dad that toys weren't as much fun as staying home with mom sometimes, so not to bother buying him anything. I was stunned, but so proud. My child can't be bought! Yippee! This was only one battle, I know, but it makes me feel like I'm slowly winning the war without having to drag his father's name through the mud. Seems like he's doing it for me.

Moody- who wishes all fathers (and mothers, too) were good ones


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2006
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 8:05pm
Isn't is amazing how some guys can think of their kids as bargaining chips? Like telling you he won't see her anymore is really going to upset you beyond pain for your child. My ex used to do that too, and I'd always think "Great, I won't have to deal with you anymore!" Of course, as a good mom you don't want that for you child, but as a "regular person" it would be such a relief to be rid of the ridiculous drama. But it sounds like you did the perfect thing by not reacting, telling him "That's your choice". It's not useful to him if he can't get a rise out of you. Good job, and hang in there.
Sheesh
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 8:33pm
He sounds like a real jerk.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 9:22pm

Sigh. The 50/50 thing. I don't think they could/would ever comprehend what 50/50 TRULY is all about when they can have the schedule fit around their whims. I totally understand how you feel because I am in the same boat. My exh has a flexible schedule because he travels -so he pretty much picks what days he wants. I do always promote them to visit when he can because it is good for DS.

At first I got mad that it was all about him. Then I realized that I have the treasure so I keep my mouth shut. I shoulder the whole burden - and look at what he DOES do as the gravy. DS does so well with me and I enjoy his company. It is easier now that DS is older. And certainly easier on my nerves since I have that perspective of not expecting anything.

I think your exh has big issues with self esteem - he seems to be worried about everything he doesn't have rather than what he does have. It is very bad that he says derogative things in front of her.

HUGS!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 11:07pm
Hugs, Rebecca
What a louse, but unfortunately there are a lot of guys like him, my X for one, and it is sad for our kids. Keep holding the high road, my solid behavior as a mom has been the rock for my sons to cope with their nutty dad. OMG, your X's reactionary behavior is SOOO like my X's. I totally agree with the previous post on self esteem issues. I wish mine would just get some mental health help.