Starting to date but ........HELP
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Starting to date but ........HELP
| Thu, 12-14-2006 - 9:19am |
I am starting to date finally. I am a single mother and the last relationship I had was witht the child's father. He saw me before pregnancy, during and after. He knew what to expect and why my body now has a few stretch marks here and there. (And why it's not quite what it used to be....yet) My fear now is that every man I am going to meet is not going to know that sometimes having a baby can change the way a woman's body looks. I am just so scared of having to show myself to anyone. I have turned down dates for fear that it could lead somewhere further and I don't want to face a possible bad reaction. (Like "what are those marks...eww.) My friend has said they probably won't notice that much. (that we notice far too much) But I need to know from people who have been through this.--Has anyone had to overcome this kind of thing? How did you deal with it? Do you think guys are very concerned with this sort of thing-or as much as we think they are? (with clothes on I look pretty much the same as before)

I've had two kids. I have stretch marks. I also have sags where there didn't used to be any, wrinkles, am starting to get gray hair, and just generally don't look the same as I did in high school.
I look better. In fact, when people I went to high school with see me, they tell me so.
The reason for this is that I am happier than I have ever been, with myself, with my life, with the world in general. That, my friend, is the most attractive quality. It will shine through no matter what your post-baby body looks like. Nothing kills that shine like insecurity.
I've dated since giving birth, and frankly, I didn't give my "life marks" a second thought. It isn't just stretch marks and sagging skin where there used to be none- it's a testiment to the fact that I've lived. And guess what- people who don't have children sometimes have stretch marks, men included. I think of the stretch marks, and all the rest, more as battle scars than disfigurements. I don't flaunt them, neccessarily, but I certainly don't hang my head in shame, as they're simply a part of me, much as green eyes or a warped sense of humor are a part of me. And I love all of me.
Trust me, when it's the right guy, he'll love you BECAUSE of your imperfections, not IN SPITE of them.
Moody- beautiful because of the life she's lived
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Good for you, finding such a great guy!
I once read "Stretchmarks are the roadmap to life" !
Men don't really care if you've had a baby or not. They don't really pay that much attention. Yes, they know what stretch marks are. If he knows you've had a baby and he sees the stretch marks, he'll put two and two together and be okay with it.