When an old love comes-a-callin...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
When an old love comes-a-callin...
16
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 1:43pm

OK all...heres one for you. Long ago in a land very close to the one I live in now there was a very very very sweet and gentle loving man in my life. OK so Ill stop the dramatics and get on with it. Way before my ex there was a man I was involved with for 8 years. When we met I was 19 and he was 28. We lived together for a few years and as I grew up I grew out of him. I was young and doing all the 21 year old stuff that he had alredy been through. He understood it to and was very patient. At the time I thought he was to patient...to laid back. We broke up and got back together and broke up and back together...you get the picture.


Hes always been there for me no matter what. Always been my best friend, family always loved him and I guess I always loved him. I just never gave him the benefit of the doubt and believed he was for real I guess. He truly was a prince. I can honestly tell you he brought me a rose everyday of our relationship for all the years we were together. He left me love letters all over the house. Packed my lunch for work. Always made me laugh even when my girlfriends used to think he was boring. All these years when something big happened in my life I always called him and the same for him. Hes never married or had kids and that was a big thing for me...he never wanted to get married and I wanted to sooooo badly.


Anyway after everything happened with my ex I ran into the prince and he kind of shrugged me off and said oh yeah I heard you had a kid. I never called him when Mia was born, for some reason i felt guilty even though we hadnt been a couple in over 6 years. So fast forward a few months he calls my mom for my number and she of course gives it to him and he calls. He being the prince tells me if theres anything that me or the "kid" need to just call him and he will always be there for me no matter what.


Now we have been talking for a week or so pretty steady and we have decided we'll go out for some dinner when he gets back from traveling for work (yeah hes got a job and a license of and more than one car and ummm a paycheck). I guess Im looking for some direction on this. I dont know if Im pursuing something with him for the right reasons. My best friend asked what was it about him that made me stay for so long and I said he always took care of me, I always felt safe with him and he was my great love I guess. So she said there you go..its all right there in front of your face now open your damn eyes and thank the lord for a second chance.


So waht do you think???


M

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 1:53pm
I say go for it.
Cat
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 2:04pm

Hey M-


You have a lot of history and he obviously filled a part of your life- he's caring and you feel safe. Mu question to you would be how does your heart really FEEL about him. You can care about him and feel safe, but did you love him? Were you, are you attracted to him? I think having dinner would be fine, maybe to see if there are still sparks. Did you decided to leave before due to anything that broke your trust (ie: infidelities)? or was it just a matter of being at different places in you lives?

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2008
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 2:11pm
WOW..this is something definately worth exploring.I think the fact that he was always there is meaningful in itself.I would try to definately explore whats there NOW.There is a reason he didnt go away and you deserve to find out if he truly is the one that could make you happy. Time changes things and it would be great to just see if time is right this time whereas maybe before it wasnt.If it isnt there you are with a old friend anyways and thats something you can never have too many of! Some things in life are meant to be and some arent,if it were me in your position I would be standing on my tiptoes just trying to find out whats there now if anything is after all those years.Maybe he has changed too and marriage is something he has a differing view on now.We all change as life experiences happen to us.Good luck to you on this and I wish you the best.Let us know how it turns out.I hope its in a good way :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 2:14pm

Never a question about him being unfaithful or me for that matter. We were just at different places. Not sure if Im attracted to him its been so long. And thats the thing I dont know how I feel. Im scared that its the history of feeling safe with him that makes me want to go back. I know that nothing would ever hurt me when i was with him and honestly I have always compared EVERY single relationship after him to him. Hes the most romantic and considerate man you could ever hope to meet. I guess we will see...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 2:32pm

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 2:40pm

We are just planning dinner and i guess we will see after that night. I should have a gut feeling when we have dinner. Its crazy but now thinking about it theres all these emotions. Like should I have him pick me up or should I meet him somewhere??? What would I wear??? My butt is not a 19 year old butt anymore...neither are the boobs for that matter ...LOL....ohhh gravity youre so evil!!! LOL


I still have 2 weeks to worry about all of this...can i get a boob and butt lift on the cheap in 10 days???? :0)


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 2:51pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 2:53pm

Like should I have him pick me up or should I meet him somewhere??? What would I wear??? My butt is not a 19 year old butt anymore...neither are the boobs for that matter ...LOL....ohhh gravity youre so evil!!! LOL


LOL!!!!


Wow this brings back memories for me. My college love and I seperated ways- with no hard feelings, and throughout the years I never saw (he had moved to Portland)

~Pacific~
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 2:59pm

I had that situation happen to me twice. One over the summer with my best friend. It didnt go good, because with neither I felt the attraction. I just couldn't go through with it, because they were always there for me, but I needed more. I knew I was going back for the wrong reasons. It's definitely something you need to really explore for yourself before you hurt him or yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 02-25-2008 - 3:33pm

I hope that you will either find a new attraction with him or at least have him back as a friend- and if nothing else get some closure on the past. Keep us posted!!!


You know...I think youre really onto something there. I guess I never wanted to close the door on us and still always wanted to keep that "what if" alive. So now we shall see...its do or die time!!!


And on him looking 28...he still looks the same...still in shape...still full of muscles...still really tall...still the big giant prince. Hes got good genes I guess...big strapping polish boy LOL If you ask him he'll say Ukraine ...LOL I say polish (NEVER RUSSIAN) Did I mention hes a great cook to boot???


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