Thoughts at night
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| Thu, 03-06-2008 - 10:03pm |
I seem to do quite well 98% of the time,its that 2% that happens at night.Always when night falls around and my son is bathed and ready for bed the loneliness hits me.I do other things to try to occupy my mind.Its just that sometimes I need to be reminded how it feels to be a woman.KWIM? Just the companionship and closeness of having a man.I dont need a man.I can take care of myself,support my self and do almost everything I would need a man for.Its just sometimes the woman in me needs a man.I am still doing OLD and have found some matches on EH.Its a bit more aggrivating because it seems it takes longer for them to respond.Some dont seem that bad.The last few days I have ran into old flames,guy friends I was once attracted to,and I heard a ex bf is coming back in town which makes me nervous.I just wonder why it seems that alot of my relationships with men are so messed up.Not all of them but most of them.I usually am too good of friends,they have issues or time and work get in the way..it makes me think WTF.Maybe I am just attracted to the wrong type and set my own self up for failure in that dept. Sorry Im just deep thinking tonight.Working and working out are what I try to use to occupy my mind..what do you ladies do..besides the OLD to occupy your mind? There arent any really places to meet people locally where I live and I am not doing the bar scene.
On a lighter front,my profile article came out in the paper today.Alot of people commented on seeing me and I felt kinda funny and weird having this larg picture of me telling about me in the local paper on post.I was overall a good experience though and I liked the article.It was brief and to the point about my position working for the Army and a few tidbits about my life.
Sunshine~who is thinking about how at nights she could really really use a man...and is otherwise pretty happy..just lonely at times

How I occupy myself during the hours alone at night? I get on here, on MySpace, on Match. I sometimes reach out to call friends. I workout right after work so I'd be too tired to care or think and go to bed early. I find a good book. I sometimes rent a video. Here we got an active social group, meetin.org and meetup.com so if I'm up for it then I go out to do something with them but usually not.
Mark
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb
(((Hugs)))
Know those feelings very well...Thats why i get a good book. I know that sounds really corny but its true. I find that really settling into a good read distracts me enough and relaxes me enough that often I nod off for a bit. Then occasionally I have myself a good cry snap out of it. A good cry is necessary every now and again, it reminds us we are still alive and the ticker is still working. Just as long as it doesnt become a nightly ritual. The loneliness will subside and a feeling of independence takes its place...just as long as it doesnt fester into bitterness. Just dont settle for something with someone to quickly because you need some "male" companionship. I sort of get that vibe from your postings that you are really really searching for something. I think you really need to step back and let it find you. Dont force it...ever try to force something that needed to be put together..like one of your sons toys. You know you start to get tired and frustrated so you just start jamming parts together then you snap a piece off and it never really works right...Well I think the same goes for relationships. Belive it or not there are much worse things in life then lacking a little male companionship...it will come to you I promise.
(((HUGS)))
M
ITA with MomStar here! (calling you MLS just makes me wanna go house-hunting... lol)
I grab a good book, too. The stories are a good escape from this world for awhile. I'm never too far away from a novel. ;-)
I also surf the internet if it's late and I'm up and bored. There's so many message boards and blogs to visit!
I can stay up (and stay busy) all night, too- if I'm caught up in one of my craft projects. Cross-stitching, crocheting... it keeps my hands busy and I can put on an audio book or some music... and I'm "escaping" that way, too. It just brings me peace to make something with my hands.
To Hecallsmesunshine- just find out what you ENJOY as a hobby that you can do in those hours when you don't know what to do- just to help keep you distracted. Find a passion that can bring you that LIFE inside so you wont' miss the company of a man to fill that quiet place.
I get it too- we all do- when we miss just having someone to hold or touch, or be touched. That's normal. But to start feeling too sad/bad/negative about it without some way to pull yourself out of that... that is bad. So find some things you can add to your arsenal against those odd lonelies so you can distract yourself when they strike... and eventually you'll move past it and find that you LOVE the hobby/interest and you will want to do some of those things even once you are dating someone!
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
I agree with Shrimps and Momstar. It is normal to get lonely and sad at times - especially when you don't have your kid. You have to find something to do to get your attention away from it so you are not thinking about it. I find that listening to music, reading, being online, watching a movie or TV and playing scrabble online or chatting online with friends helps. I also think that my really crazy exercise routine is making me so tired I crash before I can think about it.
Are you doing anything to find someone? Because that helps too - to know that a bait and hook are out there and it is only a matter of time before a good one comes along.
Hey Sunshine-
Although I am dating, I can totally relate to waking up in the middle of the night- usually around 3 or 4 am...stressing. I don't live with BE so when I wake up it's just me with my thoughts. And those thoughts are relentless- usually has to do with my job, finances, or my relationship.
I found myself in that spot at three this morning. I so needed to get back to sleep. I don't get up and read or watch tv or surf the web because I know if I do I will stay awake. So I try and make my mind think of something else- something serene and relaxing I just have to visualize. OR I get up only to make a list. Sometimes my mind just demands that I work something out- like making a priority list of what I will tackle and get done ro resoove the problem- so that is what I did at 4am this morning- I got up and organized my thoughts about how I can manage what I need to do today. Then I was able to sleep again.
HTH!
Hugs to you- I have been there also, when all I really wanted was a mans warm body to make me feel safe and secure in the night. And the dark hours are the worst. You'll get through this, I promise-
Thanks everyone.As far as what am I doing to try to meet people in response your your question,I occ asionally go out with friends,I have been on EH and I am communicating with a younger guy I met last year.I do need to get a hobby.I read alot when I have a chance.Mainly I just work ALL the time and its when I come home it hits me when I am not busy.I have been pretty disillusioned since C and I split.Maybe I dont need anyone anytime soon until I do find this that I am searching for.I am going to continue to talk to the younger guy who I will call V as he is showing ALOT of interest in me but I dont know really if I could date him because of the age diff but I am considering it. Thanks everyone for your support..