Question of the week and Therapy Session

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Question of the week and Therapy Session
37
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 8:51am
Ok, before I even begin to tell you about the events that took place last night. Let's all have a stab at how long the widower has been single. I know the answer, but can you guess it? I will let you know after we get a few guesses, with a very

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 9:26am
OK....I'll play.
4 months?
I feel awful even typing that but that is my guess. :(
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 9:27am

YOU are being NAUGHTY!!!!


I can only guess its a BAD answer. Like he died 6 weeks ago, or something. & if THATS the case ... I'd stay away.


NOW ... GIMME THE SCOOP!!!!!!!!!!! Fresh girl.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 9:29am
Normally I would have said between
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 9:31am

6 mos...are the exhuming the body???


To cold???


SPILL WOMAN...DETAIL DETAILS DETAILS

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 9:40am
3 months!
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 9:47am

We need a drumroll icon here! Ok: 7 weeks ago.


YUP! Lung cancer and she was fighting the battle for almost 3 years. Right after the birth of her youngest daughter.


Soooo, the widower and I had a VERY intense conversation at 3 a.m. in the morning.


As some of you know, I am a cancer survivor. I've been in remission for 3 years, so when he finally told me how long it's been and what happened, I told him I had to be very honest and let him know I'm a survivor. He suddenly opened up and I had a coming to jesus conversation with him.


I told him he was crazy and no wonder he had women wanting to bring him casserole. I asked him what he was thinking and told him under no circumstances should he be dating. Then I proceeded to explain what I knew he was going through now and that he had to stop acting so tough. I had a real tough intense conversation and he really listened. He said I broke more walls then his therapist and he said I was probably right. He believes I came for a reason into his life: fate? At least that is what made me think and then I thought of our thread this week that Rebecca posted I think (sorry can't remember).


So I told him, I'm probably not dating material ready either, but I sure could use a friend, and he said the same thing, so he is taking himself off of match.com and we are going to bump our meet from Thursday to tomorrow.


Ok..... so I SOOOOOOOOO know what is going on right now and I even told him I had a huge respect for his late wife. The strength and courage it took her and the fear she must have felt from within, but unable to show. We had a long conversation about it, because I could so relate to this woman and it made me cry for her. I'm SOO glad he didn't tell me in person and I'm so glad we weren't on the phone, becuase I think it was a very emotional conversation.


I felt for him. I know he's not on the rebound or insensitive, I know he's trying to just act like it's ok and putting a front for everyone that he's ready to move on, when reality is, he hasn't had any time to heal. So we talked through that. I discussed his wall with him and how much I understood what he was doing, but that wasn't going to help him and that he had to learn that it's ok to really mourn and release three years of feelings he's had to keep inside of himself.


We started talking at 11 p.m. we hit that topic at 3 a.m. and got off the chat email by 4:30 this morning. At the end of the conversation he told me he felt so relieved. And I told him that him dodging the conversation all night,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 10:03am

Im so touched and happy that you came into each others lives. Would have much more exciting if it was a freak boating accident in the middle of winter but very touching just the same. Im glad you are willign to be there for him. Hes had a tough road and a much tougher one to come but knowing that he broke down some walls with you says theres room for healing and maybe a little for you too.


Now thank you for my morning cry...

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 10:11am
YOU CRACK ME UP! Winter boating accident! GEESH your morbid!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 10:24am

LOL I think I have the flu...im cranky


Seriously though its for a reason that you found each other. Youve touched his life in a way he needed and maybe hes doing the same for you.


Would have made a GREAT story though...freak boating accident in back yard kiddie pool husband accused in fowl play due to torrid affair with underage cracker barrel waitress...story at 6...

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 10:27am
HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? LOL. Have you ever seriously considered stand up comedy? Or writing for a sitcom? You could be your own sitcom! Youd' be rated number one and I'd be glued to the TV.

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