Advice please...
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Advice please...
| Fri, 03-07-2008 - 10:05am |
Ok, here's the situation. I dated this guy for a short time about 19 years ago. He's very much a "loner" type of guy. We both moved on, went our separate ways. I've been in 2 serious relationships since then. I moved away about 8 yrs ago and moved back to the same area just last year with my 16 yr old son. We have kept in touch through email, just generically speaking though. Then, once I came back,

I don't know... this could be tricky. You know more about things than any of us do- but yet your post makes it sound like quite a bit of HIS feelings are being assumed by you. Do you really know what he wants? Is he even interested in a relationship at all? (not just with you, but with ANYone) You called him the "loner" type... so he might be perfectly happy just staying alone, but will accept your invitations because he does enjoy the occasional social outing.
If you REALLY want to know if there is a chance for something more with him, then either ask him (such as bringing up the past dating between you... and ask if he thought something like that might happen again now, after all these years?)- to see if he even thinks it is something he would pursue or not. Or- you can just sit back and see if he DOES pursue or not. See if he can even make the step to call you and be the one to initiate getting together. If he is interested, then he would put in the effort to call and ask you out, rather than letting you do the calling/asking!!
Another thing that could give a clue- might be knowing what caused you guys to stop dating that last time. Is it something that could still interfere with trying to date now? Things are different now, obviously. You're both older, and you now have a son in the mix. But it's could still be a telltale sign of things, if there is a clear reason why he became an "ex" back then.
I'm sure you will get many more thoughts on this as the board stars to answer your post!
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
I agree with Shrimps and echo what she says.
As an aside, I think you should be doing more to meet other people and not waste all your time with him and put too many hopes in him. This will make you a little less available and a little more attractive. I think the bottom line is that he has to realize it on his own and be the one to make the decision and effort - you cannot do that for him, unfortunately.
Keep us posted! Welcome!!
Hi Ang!
Wow!